the gulf

one foot in the dirt

your heart is in the gulf

i want to try to save you

but i dont think its enough

with one hand out the window

feeling rain and love

i just want to save you

but i'm not sure i'm that tough

come step in my tornado

i'll blow down from above

we'll fly the highest mountain

the one we call love

come dive in my volcano

we can meet in the cove

we'll swim the thermals baby

as long as we're still young

two times i've stolen baby

hearts from hijackers

it was to try and save me

from love's attackers

one foot in the grave now

staring at the floor

i hoped that i could save us

i didnt know what to look for

come step in my tornado

i'll blow down from above

we'll fly the highest mountain

the one we call love

come dive in my volcano

we can meet in the cove

we'll swim the thermals baby

as long as we're still young

come step in my tornado

i'll blow from above

we'll fly the thermals baby

and remember when we were young.

Reviews

[Abigail T]

"come step in my tornado/i'll blow down from above." what fantastic lines, and the repetition is very strong. i like the natural disaster metaphors a lot. i don't see them very often, and you use them to your advantage.

my one critique is in the cadence of the poem. some stanzas sound similar, but others sound like they are in a completely different rhythm. i don't know if this is on purpose or not, but it became somewhat distracting from an otherwise beautiful poem.