OLD HABITS DIE HARD

I have recently been considering how difficult it is to overcome habits, how violently our nature rebels against any attempts to break routines that we have settled down into.

    

Why do we react in such a way – is it because of the feeling of security that the established patterns impart to our daily lives, is it due to the apprehension of the new and the unknown that we would be forced to face if our routines were to change?

    

Even though we engage in these routines only once a day or once a week like, for example, always having a nap after a big meal, nevertheless we have to use all of our strengths when we try to change these patterns of behavior and overcome the fear that any such change automatically brings with it. 

   

Now imagine if there existed an activity such that we engaged in it literally from the very moment of our births and continued to engage in it unceasingly every moment of our lives, the habit getting stronger and stronger with every passing second. 

   

How unimaginably, inconceivably strong would our resistance be, with what extreme panic and horror would our natures react if any attempt was made to break the habit of engaging in this particular activity.

  

Such an activity really does exist but as it is so ubiquitous, so deeply ingrained in our nature, so accustomed are we to its persistent presence that we do not even notice ourselves practicing it. Because we never have been forced to experience the world without engaging in this activity, we have become blasé to its presence and take it for granted.

    

We engage in it by default, because we’ve been doing it all of our lives, we cling to it despite everything because we are afraid of discovering what things would be like without it. It is the strongest, most tenacious habit that a person possesses and consequently the hardest to break.  

     

If only we were to see that our fear of ceasing this activity is nothing more than the ordinary fear of breaking a habit, magnified many times over by its deep-rootedness in our nature, then we would see that this fear has no rational basis. We, therefore, would finally be in a position to overcome the   fear that overshadows and stains every moment of our lives, the fear of death.

   

 If one calls into question this depiction of living as a habit, the onus is on him to examine his life and determine whether or not the overriding motivation for his existence is something other than the force of habit, if he lives for a reason other than the inertia of custom and if his life is more than just a routine that he has fallen into.

 

Reviews

[SJ Roebling]

We think so much alike it is uncanny.
You could easily pass as a Doctor of Philosophy, Psychology, Sociology.... should I go on?
Incredible piece of work.
WRITE A NOVEL!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

This to me brings to mind your comment regarding Freud's thoughts on the matter. Some habits are life threatening yet we continue to do them. There is the fear of death as you mention and then there is compelling nature to turn towards unwittingly sometimes and sometimes with fervor. Thoughtful write. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Ron B]

Very good Boris and thought provoking. I also agree with you.

[radian7]

In college we were asked to give up something like eating sugar for a while so we could know how hard it is. I was impressed with that fact.
You have been writing about death and its merits in a couple of your works that i have read. In reading this work, that group that commited suicide to meet up with the comet came to mind.
I found it curious that a number of songs have been written based on the theme of death.
The Bible has parts that address death as a merit as in dying but some of that maybe symbolic although some of it does have literal reference.
Anyway just doing some free association here. Again I liked the idea of taking a habit (not the habit of living) in my case, but a habit I would want to change and tackle it again.

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

At first I thought you were talking about the habit of breathing, and since breath = life I guess in a way you are. I just don't think people are so cut and dried, though. Habit (the fear) saves us. Those who have heightened anxiety over changed routines will notice something is out of whack very quickly, or will feel something is off, and leap out of the way, or check it out, and perhaps keep on breathing. I am not touting anxiety here, but just that as I was reading, I was imagining how habits are quite animal, they are so basic to survival.

I so enjoy that I am stimulated by this piece to think about what habits I own. And do I choose them or am I stuck? I like noticing how life feels each day. It is a good thing to stimulate other minds, and I like the challenge. At one time my ideas of death and dying were idealized, fantasy-fear stuff, imagining that it was natural.... As an RN (not practicing anymore-I turned to art) I stood near death, I witnessed the slow demise, the sudden loss of breath, the violence....I only know that death feels like an enemy, and my fear feels quite rational... in contrast to your last paragraphs. I like that you wrote this, we seem to be drawn to it and opened because of it.

[[untitled]]

Hello Boris, how are you? This is a wonderful subject, discussion and pattern of thought. I am sitting here and wondering if I agree with you. Then that thought makes me wonder if perhaps you are not quite correct but simply for "most" and not for "all". Of course I do not know the answer to my own question. But, let us start with your question and I.

I do not think about death to speak of and when and if I do it is approached rather joyfully for I feel as though I will not only be with those here but also with those who have moved on. I might add that I have long been this way. Of course my family has said to me just wait until you are faced with your mortality up close. Of course they may be quite correct. However, that would place this fear somewhere other than constant.

I have of late chosen to face a couple of my fears � and please let me add that this is not new behavior for me. For many years perhaps since I was about 35 [I am now 61] I have had a growing fear of flying. This fear since 911 had become paralyzing. Something had to be done about this. And yes, there may have been an element of what you speak going on here within my fear, but I do not know. I solved this by learning to fly a plane. Now that was fun. This is a sport for the very wealthy so once I had flown about 25 times with the rise in fuel costs and the crashing of two planes [no, not by this person], I pretty much have not flown since last November. I also have no fear of flying today. I did the same sort of thing with my fear of heights last year at Machu Picchu. I simply needed to rid myself of this fear. Doing this has taught me much about habits and fears. I have concluded that our fear of death is not really as big as we might think. No, I think that we dwell within fear as a way of life. I think that fear itself is the bad habit, the destructive thought pattern, this habit that is difficult to break.

[Annelise]

You sent this one to me!! It was actually my favorite one you sent. You were so spot on in this piece. Habits are difficult and painful to get rid of. I do think part of it is the security. Like when I was going through a break up, what I missed was the security of BEING with someone, more than anything he had become a habit. This was a very eye opening piece you wrote.

[Wildfleour]

Habit are hard to break because even if they are negative, they are familiar and build a pattern in our lives. You are right - it comes down to fear. All different types of fear. Fear of change, fear of failure, etc. etc. I think if one can pull away, and gain some perspective, it helps.

[Kasey]

Contrary to other opinions, I believe this piece to be vey honest and relatable. Even for the person who said they live for moments that happen when habits are broken. Well, I'm sure a penchant for the unknown and mysterious can become quite a habit in itself.

It's really wonderful work.
And I feel enlightened having read it.
Thank you.

[JR]

I disagree with Azardelle. Sometimes we fear change because we do not wish to admit the things about ourselves that we did not know existed until we decide to change. She does state that "Discovering, knowledge and learning are bliss" and while that may be true, sometimes it is better to just leave things as they are and accept them despite how much we may come to hate it later on.
I agree that we only fear the change/destruction of a habit because we have done it all of our lives and we know no other way. Great write, I love how it leaves you thinking and wondering about the truths in life.