REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS IMPERFECT

It is the middle of a sunny summer day

I am running down the stairs

quickly and excitedly, with my neighbours following me.

 

We all want to see the Sun

It just fell down in the front yard

I saw it coming down like an overripe cantaloupe,

staining the sky with sticky, succulent golden juices.  

 

There it is,

lying on the ground,

a giant orange, trampling the grass it landed on,

squirting its warm essence all over our bodies.
 

 

The neighbourhood dogs are running around,

barking at this strange visitor.

 

I approach it warily. I touch it.

It is warm and beautiful,

glistening in the mid-noon light.

 

I remember well the feelings of amazement, incredulity,

inexplicable joy overwhelming me

and the comical expressions of confusion

on the faces

of my neighbours.

 

 

Reviews

[dead]

Though I tend to distrust memories from time to time … I like this, it reads well, actually it reads like a memory, as if the colors are different because memories partake in different color schemes than the perception of ‘now’.
My oldest memory is ‘trauma’ when I was less than a year old I was severely with a Salmonella infection of some kind, I have a visual memory of that, at least I use to, the image I think is gone now but I still have the memory as a memory which I know I have yet can no longer ‘remember’. I was sitting on the hospital bed, crying … crying …

Steven

[Lily1111]

My first impression is great imagination to craft a poem such as this with the sun falling down. Clearly not our sun, as it is "glistening in the mid-noon light." but one of another galaxy. Interesting how the tense changed from present in the beginning to a remembrance in the closing lines. I thought the imagery was good especially the line describing it as an overripe cantaloupe. Really quite out of the ordinary, which is what I like about it.

[Solst Rapture]

This was crafted with great precision. It created a sense of serenity in my mind.

An exuberant construction that unifies the reader with the fruits of creative writing. I admire how this felt so organized.

[[untitled]]

Wonderful powers of observation, you are skilled at getting your message across in extremely readable passage. The sun on the ground like an over ripe orange...we get plenty of that here! Too much at times.
I really loved this for the image it created in my mind, the sun, the children and the play.
Kudos from me...
Cheers,
Helen :-)

[Karen666]

another beautiful poem. you are talented.

[[untitled]]

Ahhh . . . don't get me started on my thoughts about the Sun. Very descriptive and I adore the imagery. The Sun is so taken for granted. That's why it's my favorite star.

Brava!

S

[He@ther!]

Brilliant imagery:) Its as if you can feel the warmth emanating from the fallen sun:) It is a very light-hearted and enjoyable piece:)

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Beautiful imagery and cadence in this work. I agree with Manoosh - there is a playfulness to this that is reminiscent of childhood memories. Quite a stirring work. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Legion]

A fallen sun. Hmmm, I'm thinking BBQ time. I like this. Has a "warmness" to it even if it is a bit bizarre. Sorry took so long on the review. Been really busy with work due to some injuries (of others) making it to where I have to work extra hours for awhile. Good poem though.

[Alexis Pena (Goco)]

nice imagery

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

i really like this poem. it's put together very well. flows through my mind like water. i love it.