Elsewhere

Written about a small, untamed woodland near my suburban home.

Elsewhere

 

There is a place I go. A hovel amid the houses,

A place the suburban streetlamps cannot know.

A dark place. Hidden to the town. But not the world.

No. The world is here. It kept this niche, sleeps

And waits, that it might wake again. Awake

And see without the haunt of consumer-driven

Revelry. But not now. And not me. I will not

Write about the things that bite and plan to poison me.

Not in this place. Not where the jackdaw cries

His lonely song. Not where the leaves shake

With wind and play their spinning dance all the way

Down to dirt. Not where a jackrabbit sniffs

A thousand different grasses and seeing me,

Quietly slips his way within the trees. Here

Is where I do not want for plastic things or machines.

Here is where I meet the world and meet God in it.

Not because it’s meant to be, but because this niche

Remembers God is in it. And I, too, remember,

And keep the place, not for me, and not for here,

For silence, for prayer, for song and earth and home.

Author's Note

I'm looking for criticism. Kind words are always nice, but tough words are sometimes helpful.

Reviews

[Mrittika]

amazing ..I love this piece of poetry..beautiful imagination.

[May Flowers]

i love the imagery in this! I wouldn't change a thing.

[Bree Potter]

Thank you, April.

[VALENTINE]

Breath taking. Every line, pure realism.

[Bree Potter]

Thank you, VALENTINE. I appreciate your generosity.

[OnePiece]

Sound Like U Really Hate This ideal World , & Rather Live In A World Like Alice In WonderLand
Well You Can Act & Do As U Please & Hide Emotion & Well I Love it , I Wish I Found Me A Places Like Urs
In My Thoughts Grrr
Well I Felt U Was Screaming This Out so I Read It Slowly As I Open My Lungs Out To It Sound Fascinating Try it HEHE

[Bree Potter]

I agree; Poetry is best when it's read aloud. That way we really here the music, and we interact with the language in a way that is free of our minds.

Oh, and I hope it doesn't like I hate the world I inhabit. On the contrary, I do love it, and, if not for my day-to-day life, I would not be able to understand why I find solitude and wilderness so appealing.

Thanks for your review!

[OnePiece]

Is because New Things U having seen before becomes fasinating to you
So it make you go forwerd some thin to look forwerd to u know & i be jus like u at time but i jus get lost & see what comes my wat or what path i intersect u know n make off

[zainul]

This is quite sincere expression of your feeling and passion.
I love your place kept specially for silence, for prayer, for song and earth and home.

[Bree Potter]

Thank you. Sincerity is something I'm really striving for right now. I don't know. I think I'm kind of over the tiring cyclicity brought about by ambiguity.

[zainul]

You are most welcome,dear poet.:)

[Aunre]

I don't know enough to criticize but I will say that this poetry, this verse, seems to hold and open palm against a warm, gentle breeze. It knows enough to be both firm and clam. The time and place it envelopes is hard yet enduring - worth the effort - and it is with such thoughts; a determination of sorts that you seem to have translated an experience and hope and perhaps desire into lines that speak plainly to those that care to see as you do - if only for a moment. Hello, Bree and thank you for sharing.

[Bree Potter]

Thank you for your kind words, Ping. I was going for a sort of juxtaposition of elements, something you mentioned in your review. I'm glad it's there!