my prey?

In the tub I submerged myself

so that the water covered my mouth

but not my nose

and I breathed

waiting for my prey to come

My legs bent at the knees

feeling the coolness of air

that the rest of my body was not in contact with

I wanted to dream

to think

to live

to be there in the bathtub forever

waiting for my prey to come

I ran lines of poetry

out through my nostrils

and they skimmed the water

breaking apart on the porcelain barrier

shards fell to my feet

leaving ripples of disorder

I opened my eyes

staring at a new world

a new and very different ceiling

hoping to be baptized

or blessed

and granted eternal life

but there was no priest

no god

nobody but me and my prey

 

 

 

Reviews

[Flow]

I like your style and message in each of your flowing words. You have a great talent my friend!

[Kasey]

Perfect example of being trapped in one's own mind...
Loved the "no priest; no god"
It's almost as if you're calling out peoples' unrealistic expectations of religon, when in the end it might just be you and your sins.

(Just a thought, feel free to correct me.)

[Cassandra]

Great strong visual. Breaking apart the porcelain barrier...nice. Makes me feel that bit of escape you get in a tub ..relaxing and yet it sort of is claustrophobic at the same time.. good capturing of that..