Call me when you have a chance

Call when you have a chance,
it rings in my ear and wrings my heart dry
Words that mean i love you, or you did something to me, or i need to talk to you,
words that may change something or everything or nothing,
when you have the chance.
Time passes and you decide what minute you are going to change everything or nothing.
My mom would always tell me to call when i had the chance.
I never felt like I had the chance
i was always nervous to find that she knew that I didn’t believe in God anymore

But it was never anything
She broke my heart so many times so I guess my guard was up before she had the chance to try to break through it’s iron clad doors  
I have grown to be okay with change

My mother pretends not to know the real me

And I make sure that she does