posin

     posin

 

Posin has ran thourgh my body

it has chased me all  my life

haunted all my dreams

and know it has finally sucked me into my terrible fate

no where to run

no where to hide

all alone in this deep dark posin

Reviews

[nora]

hm. okay, first you should probably fix all the spelling in this :)
posin- poison
ran- run
thourgh- through
know- now.
if you use word, spell check should probably be able to fix that :)

now, on to the actual poem.
its actually very good, considering your age. the concept is a bit dark, but its straight and to the point.
the poem is a bit short, but i dont mind that, as you get your ideas across.
the entire first part is fabulous :) especially the 'haunted all my dreams' line. that was my favorite.
okay, are you up for a little constructive criticism? the last line was definetly not the best. i would change the last word and i think that would improve the poem as a whole. maybe 'deep dark abyss' or 'lonely game of tag'? something like that perhaps? i dont know, its just a suggestion :)
anyway, keep it upp!