outside(r) (to) myselfA Story by C.J.G.The question was, "Describe a time where you felt like an outsider." Well, what if that's all the time? How do you describe that?I feel like an “outsider” to myself. I search for rhyme and reason, yet my questions are never answered. Why do I feel so alone in a crowded room, yet content when I am truly by myself? Why is it that no matter how many compliments I receive, on my grades, on my art, on my performance, every time I look in the mirror my confidence drops to an even lower level? Maybe I should become an actor, because almost every day I am putting on an act. I look back to when I felt so comfortable in my own skin, happy, and I ask myself, “What went wrong?” I look in the mirror everyday and ask, “Who am I?” My answer cannot be found. I search through my body; I search in my closet; I search around my friends; I search within my life. I am lost. It is a downward spiral of unanswered questions and a clock that seems to have stopped ticking. Why can’t life just begin? What am I waiting for? Maybe if I began, I would not feel like such a stranger to myself. Maybe my reflection could finally become my friend. But how do I start? How do I find it? The hardest questions are the ones without answers. Will mine ever be answered? © 2010 C.J.G.Reviews
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1 Review Added on April 10, 2010 Last Updated on April 10, 2010 |