7. Silence

 

I was torn between whining and shouting.  I wasn’t sure what would be more effective so they would send me back to the vision I was allowed to see. 

There was some kind of gravity that was pulling me back to the scene.  I wanted – no, needed to see what would happen to the half Blessed, half evil creature that was the Rayvers’ ancestor.

“Why did you do that?! “  I glared at Stanley, giving in to the later, (and if I would say so myself) more mature urge.  “Get me back in that flashback or whatever you may call it or I swear I would –“

“You don’t need to see how much a monster she was,” Stanley cut off my ramblings in a more serious, melancholic tone which made me immediately let go of my anger.

He didn’t need to say anything more.  What he did made perfect sense to me.  Clearly, he was ashamed of what I still only assumed their ancestor would do.  That it would somehow taint their very existence.  What I didn’t get was why it would matter if how I saw them changed.

“Fine.”  I huffed.  There was really no point in arguing anymore.  I couldn’t conjure the past like Grandfather Raymond can.  “But can I see any other flashback?  I’m still kinda hanging here.”  I turned to both of them expectantly.

Stanley grinned, obviously back to his usual mood.  “I don’t think that would be a good idea Cam.”  Something told me he knew something that I didn’t.  Then again, that wouldn’t be anything new.

“Oh come on!  That’s not fair!  You promised to explain everything to me.  For all good that did, I’m just even more confused now!”

He just laughed at me.  The nerve of him, really.

I turned to my last hope – the not-so-grouchy-but-still-unfriendly, not-really-all-that-bad, old man.  “Please?”

Grandfather Raymond shook his head.  “That lame-excuse-for-a-brain of yours wouldn’t be able handle this much stress in just one sitting.”

Great. Now I know where Rayver got his smart-a*s comments.

“Of course it can!  I would know.  It is my – whoa…“  I wasn’t sure if it was because I stood up too fast that my head started throbbing.  I leaned on the chair for support just so I wouldn’t fall.  “Head rush…”

Stanley instantly had his hands gripping my shoulder.  “Told you.”

I sighed.  “Fine.  I guess my feeble mind can’t handle everything in one sitting.”  Somehow, I managed to look at him with unwavering eyes despite the sporadically increasing headache.  “But you have to promise me we will continue this tomorrow.  Otherwise, I would nag both of you the whole night.”

He only chuckled.  Well, at least he was listening.  The old man didn’t even bother to look up from the book had gone back to reading.

“And by ‘whole night’ I really mean whole night.  I’m a very studious girl.  I’m used to pulling off an all-nighter.”

“If I promise, would you go to sleep already?”  Stanley glanced at his watch.  “It’s almost midnight, you need your rest.”

I considered it for the moment.  I hadn’t realized how tired I was until he mentioned it.  “Okay.”  I swallowed down a yawn.

 

Stanley took the liberty to walk me to the room he had Sophia prepare for me.  I didn’t argue because clearly, I was in no shape to walk on my own two feet.  Heck, I couldn’t even stand on them without toppling over!  And here I thought I knew exactly what my brain was capable of.  It seems I had overestimated it…

“I think I can walk inside by myself,” I muttered when he turned knob of the door to the room.

His grip didn’t even loosen for a split second.  He pushed the door with one hand while the other supported my weight easily.

“It’s okay.  I’ve already gotten you this far anyway.”

I didn’t know why but I was feeling shy about wanting his help.  I simply dismissed it as pride.  After all, just yesterday he was… Well, I wouldn’t say my enemy – I just didn’t like him.

He sat me gently on the bed and then walked towards the curtains to push them aside.  He turned back to me and shot me his signature smirk-like grin.  “If you hear any howling, just scream.”

Was I supposed to take that as some sort of joke?  ‘Cause I really didn’t feel like laughing.

He must’ve seen the horror on my face as I remembered the impossibly fast bear which tried to crush us to death with his expensive convertible because he was instantly at my side with a worried look on his face.  Honestly, I liked how I could affect him this way.  Although I wasn’t sure why…

“I was just kidding Camey!  God!”  He was even more stressed out than I was.  “Breathe…”

I wasn’t even aware I stopped breathing until he ushered me to do so.

It seemed to calm him down as my chest started rising and falling again.  “Good.”

He stood up and walked towards the door.  He looked at me one more time before closing the door.  “If you need anything, I’m just across the hall.  You think you could make it a few steps without falling?”

I checked with my head before nodding.

“Okay then.”  He smiled before pulling the door close.

 

I didn’t bother to look in the mirror or fix myself before lounging on the bed.  I was dead tired, like Stanley had said, and I was craving sweet, sweet sleep.

Staring at the ceiling usually helped me to sleep at other people’s houses, but tonight, I didn’t need any extra effort. 

Despite the headache that was throbbing thrice as much as it did in Grandfather Raymond’s library, I was out in a few minutes – only to wake up in a different place, a different time frame, and a different world altogether.

“Cameron.”  I turned to whoever it was that called me.  It was Sophia – at least it looked like her.  As far as I could tell, there was something different about her.  A new haircut perhaps?

I walked across the floor of wherever I was.  It was damp and cold, much like how I imagined the floor of the underground meeting place of the coven would feel like.  Like everything else, I couldn’t see it.  There were no walls, no pillars, no sign of anything other than me and Sophia.  It was like seeing and being blind both at the same time.

Just as I was about to reach Sophia, there came a low growl behind me.

Instinctively, I turned around.  And there she was, standing gracefully in front of me – Alisha, the half Blessed, daughter of the devil himself, and ancestor of the Rayvers.  Her eyes were still the same shade of ominous silver as I had remembered.  She was no longer like the tall, Blessed woman.  She was more evil now than she had seemed in the vision, right before she killed everyone.

“See what we are?  We are a part of her,” Sophia mumbled through gritted teeth.  I could tell she was as unhappy as Stanley about this fact.

I gulped.  I could sense the young girl’s desire to kill me – desire to rip my heart straight out of my chest, desire to break every bone in my body.  But at the same time, I could tell she fought hard against it.  She fought hard against a very strong, sense-blinding desire to kill – the need to kill.

 Maybe it was because of that pure and untainted part of her or maybe it was her own, natural goodness that gave her the strength to be able to resist.  I wouldn’t exactly know.  But at least she was trying – struggling.

“Say it.”  I turned slightly back to face Sophia.  I wasn’t too keen on the idea of completely turning my back on Alisha.

“Say what?”

“Say that you’re scared.  Say that you don’t want to be a part of this.”

My mouth opened and she waited expectantly, but nothing came out.  I just couldn’t bring myself to say what she wanted to hear.

Yes, I was scared – I am scared.  But in the same, weird sense that I couldn’t get furious with Stanley for taking me away from everything familiar and for still not explaining anything clearly, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

No.

I wouldn’t say it.

A bigger part of me wanted to stay here with the Rayvers – with Stanley.  I knew Sophia – this Sophia – would immediately ask me to leave if I say anything that suggested otherwise.  I just wouldn’t give her that opportunity.

“Say it!”  She was more demanding this time.

I closed my mouth in response.  It was a way I could make sure that nothing, not a tiny bit of my fear, would slip out.

“Why won’t you say it!?”  She looked angry, more a resemblance of the wild young girl that was her ancestor.  “Say it Cameron!”

There came a loud, ear-splitting roar from Alisha’s throat.  Like Sophia, it seemed that she just lost her self-control as well.

And then there was pain.

Every bit of my body ached like I had a thousand, fresh bruises.  I grasped at my chest.  It felt like my heart was about to beat out of it.  Warm tears trickled down my cheeks, mixing with the cold sweat that was already in my skin.  It was my body’s own reaction to the pain.  It surprised me that my knees did not even quiver.

I had no words to describe what I was feeling.  It was pure torture.  Like a million needles were stinging me all at the same time.

I felt cold outside but my insides burned.

What was happening?

“Don’t you remember Cameron?  The pain you went through because of this family?”

I stared at Sophia.  Was she talking about the same pain I was going through right now?

“How can you not hate this family for the pain!?”  She was enraged again, her eyes wide with fury and irritation.  “Say it!  Say you hate this family!”

Even without the pain I knew I wouldn’t have the heart to say such a thing.  But more importantly, why was Sophia saying such things to me?  She didn’t seem like this when Stanley introduced her.

Something was wrong with the Sophia in front of me…

“Remember the pain.”

I was about to attempt to say something – anything – when the memories of blood and tears flushed through my mind.

The pain…  I have felt it before…  I remember now…

“Cameron…”  Someone called me.  The pain was almost numbing now, but it still hurt.

“Cameron.”  I knew the voice. But I couldn’t seem to come up with a name for it.

“Cameron.”  It rang in my ears like music – a soothing lullaby.

“Cameron!”

My eyes snapped open and I was in the same room Stanley had left me in.  Was everything just a dream?

No…

I stared at my shaking hands.  I could still feel a hint of the pain I had felt in them.

“Cameron, are you all right?”  I turned to Stanley beside me.  His face was contorted in anguish.

I immediately recognized his voice as the soothing voice in my dream – the reality I had forgotten.

“Stanley…”  I took a deep breath.

He didn’t say anything and simply stared at me with the same worried expression.

It took me a few seconds before I could collect myself.  I sorted everything that had happened, everything that I felt, in that short moment of silence.  And then I looked at him with unwavering eyes. 

“Stanley, where’s Sophia?”  I didn’t even bother to ask what time was it.  Something told me she would be waiting.

His expression went from worried to confused.  “Still in the living room, I think.  Why?”

I had my answers, a part of them at least, and I needed to confirm them with her.  Apparently, she had more to do with my memories than I had thought.  “I remember now.  I remember what happened.”

His eyes grew wide for a fraction of a second and then he seemed to have collected himself just as fast. 

He took my hand in his and helped me get out of bed.  He did not say anything more as he led me out of the room.