When I was four...

Another performance piece

When I was four, my grammy died

when her head

was caught

in one of those automatic doors.

 

When I was four a house

fell on my aunt, so I really

don't like tornados.

 

When I was four I used

to have a

huge field of

buttercups

beside my house.

 

When I was four,

a lot of things happened and

I guess, looking back, you could

say that I lied.

A lot.

 

Telling stories that never happened and

building walls that were made

to fall

to crumble

to destroy.

 

When I was four,

I never had to worry about fitting in because

I had my family, and they loved me

honored me

kept me safe and,

 

When I was five, that all

ended

quite suddenly. 

 

I remember being four...

Author's Note

total honesty...sorry about spelling mistakes. I've been trying to write everything on Microsoft Word before I paste it on here, but lately I've been having disagreements with the program...

Reviews

[Emily B]

oh, wow! When Anna was four, well, she's five now. But she still has lots of stories.

Great write.

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is another really strong piece. I know you want tough reviews, but that's difficult when you write so well. If I had one criticism it would be that after I started reading it and enjoying the dark humour I started preparing myself for the humour to be quashed. I don't know if that's really a criticism or not. Actually, thinking about it I think that is a good point because it gave me a sense of foreboding and a wanting to stay in those memories of being four - which is what the narrator is doing. But anyway, you did change the tone very well at the end and also kept it ambiguous so the reader continues to think about the words. Very nicely done. NH