they�re taping magnets to the heads of the gators down in florida

Alligators navigate by following ley lines,

they can do this because they have magnets in their brains.

A ley line is a column of people, drunk off fruity mixed drinks, 

dancing with their hands on each other’s hips.

Wait, I'm sorry that is a conga line, and navigation via conga would be absurd.

A ley line is an invisible line, like the equator or the tropic of cancer

but more real because it is a product of magnetism,

this has been verified by science. 

Without getting too technical here, 

magnetism is what we used to call magic before we had science.

Down in Orlando they put magnets on the heads of problem gators so they can’t read ley lines like the ones that intersect under the life-sized Stonehenge replica at Disney World, or the ones that run between the water hazard on the thirteenth hole of the Spring Lake golf course and the koi pond behind the Heritage Glen Retirement Condominium Village.

And this works because, for an alligator, wearing a magnet taped to the forehead is exactly the same as if you were near sighted and I were farsighted and we switched eye-glasses while trying to keep hold of each other’s hips in the conga line after drinking a pitcher of daiquiris.

Reviews

[J]

K. With this write, you've earned the "goofball" badge of honour. Quite an esteemed achievement, actually. It sits up there with swigs from the ReddiWhip can and discovering what anti-lock breaks really mean . . . aaaaaaaah!

I read this the first time and laughed myself silly. After I did some quick research on ley lines, I read it again and fell off my chair. The mental imagine of a magnet taped to a gator's head was quite enough to start the chuckles deep, but "more real because it is a product of magnetism/this has been verified by science./Without getting too technical here,/magnetism is what we used to call magic before we had science." sent me stupid ~ truth underlying the absurd!

You do sardonic humor with such pedantic flair! Your mind is a remarkable place to hang out, even absent daiquiris!
j

[Collodi]

I've read this piece a couple of times now and find it absolutely clever and biting. You have a strong sense of the profound in the unusual, and for that I have tremendous respect for your work. Well done.

[G. Cedillo]

lol, aah, great - thanks for the smiles :-)

g.

[Donald Meikle]

The weird thing is I followed this thought train and didn't fall down

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is true because I used to have a job taping magnets to the gator's heads. As you can tell by my avatar, I only have one arm now and I glued this pretty little gal to my shoulder to balance me out. lol This was hilarious!

[man Atek]

wow, the big thingking
to crawl on these poem's
with alligator metaphor
sep jez !