Love Regret

Another - wish it was real - day dream!

My mind was over flowing with mixed emotions and thoughts as I danced on the storm clouds lightly trickling the plants below with droplets of water. I smiled as he threw me gently, then flew over to catch me. My arms were out by my sides, helping me keep my balance. I was still quite new at this. The glimmer from the moon left a white glow on his face, which kept me even more entranced than I already was. His green eyes stared deep into my blue-grey ones. To pull away, was to rip apart my soul into tiny pieces that glue could never fix. I didn’t know what to do, until a I felt a little tug on my hair. He held my hands as we floated down, avoiding eye contact. Only looking at me when I turned to say goodbye, he waved a small wave and sank underneath the tall, moist plants hiding him from our reality.

 

 

 

 

 

I lightly set my left then right foot on the windowpane as I came in from outside. The little candle in my room still flickered with every breath it took, brightening a corner of my room. Slowly, I tiptoed towards my bed, trying not to wake Mother and Father. My small alarm clock on the nightstand read 1:13am. So what if I was thirteen minutes past my usual timing? It isn’t like my parents knew anyways.

As much as I wanted to tell Mother about my nightly outings, I knew how she would react. She wouldn’t listen to me, only tell me why not to do that again, and then act like nothing happened. Its quite funny actually; I get about everything I wanted. Because I was responsible, though, an earned it. Maybe that is why I want her to know. The thought of being the badass, not a goodie too-shoo for once in my life. Not having high expectations…not having rules to follow everyday as a life. Maybe.

Light sounds of footsteps filled the hallway right outside my door. I scurried into bed, thinking about my backup plan if I happened to be caught. Or not. Of course, no one bothered to come in. It isn’t like they don’t care, because they do. It’s more because they care too much. They expect me to be in my bed fast asleep, like their good little daughter. They expect that im not doing anything irrational at 1am every night through morning. They don’t know s**t; about me; about my life; about who I really am. They only know what I’ve shown them. One question remains. Do I really want them to?

I just lay in my bed. Time slipped away from me. I only knew that it was day now, for my stain glass window had light shining reds and blues onto my caramel-wood flooring.

Heels hit the hallway floor and I knew Mother was about to come in and wake me. I knew that sound like a mother knew her baby’s heartbeat, every thump as her child breathes. A light knock came from the other side of my door. I rolled over and pretended to be knocked out. Truthfully, I wish I were. My head ached from no sleep and my eyes burned from the bright lights peeking through.

Mother casually strolled in, as she did everyday, and shook me gently. “Sweetie,” she said, “time to get up and ready for school.” I turned slightly, rubbing my eyes to make it seem more believing. When I saw the look on her face, I knew she was in shock from absolute disgust.

As I rubbed my eyes, I could feel the small puff because of the swelling from loss of sleep. Lightly touching the rims of them again, Mother snapped back to reality and sat next to me upon the edge of my bed. “Oh, Darling, you don’t look so good.” That was the only possible way for Mother to say what she was thinking in a good way, not to let myself feel even more self-conscious than I appeared to her to be. “Are you feeling well enough to go to school?”

To fool her once more, I coughed a hefty cough into the air. She instantly jumped backwards, as if she had seen a ghost above me. “I guess not,” I heard her quietly mumble to herself. Directing her attention back towards me, Mother said, “Well, I’ll go let your father know and have Kat bring up some chicken noodle soup for you, OK?” She just walked out after that, shutting the door instead of giving me a kiss on the forehead like normal. I wondered if he would be ok with my surprise visit. What was I thinking? Of course he’ll be.

About fifteen minutes later, Kat came up with a bowl of soup and a cold washcloth to try and bring my “fever” down. “Thanks, Kat.” I sputtered out to my nanny.

Kat, with her curly red hair tied back into a bun, kindly said, “I’d rather have you just feel better,” in her British accent and a nod to the head. I smiled and gave her a small wave before she left my room. “Oh, and Cam?” she questioned. I raised my eyebrows as she continued, “I have some errands to run today, so I will try to come up and check on you every few hours. Your father apologizes, but he was hurrying to get out the door this morning, so he has already left.” Kat picked up my cell phone that was charging from my desk. “You have my number if you need something.” And with that, Kat left for good this time.

Thoughts about my plans for the day wrapped around my mind. I could either stay home or get some rest like a sane person, or I could have the time of my life in the sunlight this time, like the girl I really was. Hearing the front door behind Kat slam shut, I hopped out of bed and stripped out of my Italian silk pajamas. “Only the best for my little princess,” Father used to say when he spoils me with things I never need. I slipped on my tie-dyed bikini, then a dark charcoal cover-up on top.

In the bathroom, my brush lay on the counter top. I grabbed my brush, ran it through my bleach blonde hair with black and neon blue streaks and then put in up in a high, floppy ponytail. My curved bangs with a little bit of all three hung loose in my face, as always. Opening the drawer, my espresso eyeliner caught my eye. Heavily, I applied it with some mascara and sea-foam green eye shadow. Concealer of mine went on before, though, for the swelling had begun to become a nasty shade of purple. I had to look my best for him; it will be strange not to be surrounded by darkness with the only light supported by the gleaming stars.

As I ran around, gathering things I may need for my . . .adventure, pictures of daffodils and giant pink clouds with the sky blue background came into view. Only in my head, of course, for now. Jumping onto my bed to grab my lucky anklet, I tripped by the swirling black and white rug in the middle of my floor and landed on my stomach. I sat up, and looked at myself in the mirror. Images of Mother and Father and Kat flooded my mind. This wasn’t just one of the daily night trips I take; I could be there for who-knows how long. Months? Days? Possibly only a couple of hours? I felt as though I would cry, though I hadn’t even done anything yet; tears began to form in my eyes. Just sitting there, on my rug, looking in the mirror, I saw Mother and Father standing behind me. Mother was holding her handkerchief with it up to her mouth, muffling her cries. Father stood there, hand on Mother’s shoulder, with a blank expression, staring into the ground. Time would decide my fate, soon enough.

Feeling guilty, I didn’t move. Yet, I couldn’t look them in the eyes either. My eyes darted between my hairbrush and their feet. In one swift movement, I threw the brush at the mirror, hoping it would somehow have an effect on them. I knew it didn’t, for they were only figments of my imagination.

The last things I needed were my ipod and cell phone, which I stuffed in my bag. Swinging it over my shoulder, I walked over to my candle. The same candle that I have had since I was a child. The candle that scared all the monsters out from under my bed. The candle that amazed me with its powers and what not. I moved it a little bit to the side and picked up the small bag no bigger than my palm. Holding it close to my face, I gazed carefully inside of it. Turning around, towards my window, the sunlight hit the bag with a perfect ray. It revealed the contents of which the bag held, never to be seen by anyone besides him and me.

Taking deep breaths, I took slow steps over to my windowpane. I lifted up my hand and unhitched the lock, then pushed upwards to open the window. The wind just blew my hair around as I stared out, into the city of which I was about to leave behind. I didn’t have friends. I most certainly was not going to miss school. This, though my feeling for it was mainly hatred, was my home. I called there home too, but. . .this place was different.

Glancing down, outside my window, I felt the breeze for one last time. Then I jumped. I quickly thought of all the memories I have had with him and everyone else, and I went from there. The wind caught me for a few seconds, but I got control and I tried to go with it a bit up higher. I wasn’t going to deal with the pain and questioning of “the girl in the sky” again.

A particularly puffy cloud got my attention. Steadying myself up there, I pushed with my arms, giving me a boost and headed for the cloud. The closer I got, the closer I felt to him. My heart started racing at an unbearable speed and I almost lost my balance. Almost. Darting straight into the heart of the cloud, I instantly became soaked, leaving just minor spots of dryness upon me. “Hahaha!” I laughed, already enjoying the feeling of rare freedom. I could really get used to this, I thought as I stuck my arms out and twirled around in the sky. Staring down into the city, watching Big Bens hands reach 11:30, I pushed all the unwanted thoughts out of my mind and headed for the one star the always shined.

His voice echoed through my head. Gosh, how I could not wait to go! Well, get there anyways. Oh, to see Peter and Tootles and Slightly again. And the others, of course.

Just then, a sharp, black chunk of metal swung through the air. “Wha-!” I screamed out of shock. It came into my view again and it missed me by barely a foot. Through the clouds, I saw a great chain holding the swinging object. Quickly, I zoomed to it, and did the only insane thing left. I climbed it. Obviously, I would be naturally curious to see who �" or what �" was trying to, oh, I don’t know, kill me! So, I grasped the linked chains and pulled myself up. I had absolutely no clue what was up there, I most certainly was not going to fly and make myself a visible target. But honestly, this is so much harder than it seems on TV or in movies.

I did another stupid thing instead; I flew straight down in an alleyway and landed lightly upon my feet. Looking around the corner, I peaked my head into the open. Without a second thought, I glanced up into the sky as I began to walk on the sidewalk like nothing had just happened. But right when my eyes drifted down, I was blinded and a sweaty hand was placed over my mouth, preventing me to scream in my fear.

Being shoved against a wall, they mugger pushed me into another alley, away from the open. “Ok, girly,” he extended the emphasis on “girly.” I still couldn’t see, but the mugger continued. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know what you are talki-“ I was interrupted, while speaking my muffled noises, before I could finished by a loud scream, assuming it was a woman that noticed something from the street. All I heard was footsteps leaving and coming towards me.

The lady spoke to me, while taking off my blindfold, “Aw, sweety, are you okay? Are you hurt at all?”

I shook my head, “No, ma’am, thanks for being so concerned though.”

Beginning to walk away, the lady grasped my shoulder, leaving a hand-print, “Where are you going?”

“Back home, ma’am.”

“And why would you think that, a man just came and-“ She paused. “What did he do exactly?”

Replaying what he had said, I answered, “He asked me a question.”

“What was it?”

“The man wanted to know where he was.” After that, she let go of my shoulder and I ran, though I figured that made me look rather guilty of something afterwards. That voice, I thought, I know that voice from somewhere . . .but where?

I slowed to a light jog until I was sure I was far enough away from that crazed woman. Thinking about where to go and what to do next, a took the train down to Main Street. Casually, I strolled into a hotel and acted as if I was a guest just going up to my room. I waited patiently, for it seemed as if every elevator had someone in it. Finally, I got an elevator all to myself and clicked the highest floor, Floor 39.

Once at the floor, I walked out pulling my school i.d. out of my pocket, making it seem like it was my room key. Wandering around, I finally saw what I was looking for, a fire escape. I glanced around, making sure no one could see me. The metal ladder was harder to climb up than I had interpreted. But, I did it. At the top, I instantly croutched to my knees. The last thing I needed was for people calling the news saying a small teen is about to commit suicide, and my parents would most likely never let me out of the house again, much less use a fork. So, I crawled on my knees, heading towards the farthest corner away from Main Street. Then, I stood up and walked very carefully to the very edge of the outline and . . .I jumped.

Author's Note

You are never too old to dream.

Reviews

[SpeakxNow]

Great! But don't stop here! You got a good thing going, and don't you let it go!
I love the classic story of Peter Pan :) ever since i saw the live-action movie I've been wishing it wasn't just some folk tale. If it was real- I'd be on the first...erm..."flight" there.

[nevershoutnever.]

@StrawberryHart36- Everything is real, even if some people don't believe in it. Ever noticed how we are not in England, where all the movies take place? ;)

[nevershoutnever.]

@Wierd Is Me- Thank you! I will always believe that :)

[-Not Found-]

I LOVE it i like how its written and how u decribe certain things in detail and make them sound all magical. And your right youre never too old to dream.