Saturday

Crammed into a four door black Lexus,
we pull off onto the sunny streets of Yorba Linda.
Bumping up beats singing out loud,
stomachs stirring.
We are saved by a Pizza Hut
and a guy named Pablo.
There we stuff our mouths with the best pizza,
cheese bread and cinnamon sticks.
On the border of puking, we decide to head off.

 
Hair caressing our faces,
we dance in our seats to Gimme More.
Strangers' giving us dirty looks.
Our eyes glimmering when we finally arrive at Knotts,
A sign reads "Sold Out"
And our eyes dull.
An hour later; we find ourselves
Picking up a guy at the movies
His green eyes, tight jeans, and sandy brown hair have us
Sinking to our seats, sweaters covering our faces, while giggling uncontrollably.
After an exchange of names and numbers.
We drop him off with his friends
As we start to leave, we watch him running next to the car while
Cotton candy flavored rubbers are thrown on our faces.
Britney Spears still rings my ears.

Reviews

[LostCauze[:P]]

Full of details and imagery. I can really visualize every scene that went on. The only problem i had was the structure of your poem. One stanza was larger then the other one. Try to make it more neat by separating each scene into stanzas or equal out both stanzas. I really enjoyed your poem. Keep writing.