A Better Prison

A 

A Better Prison

There is no such way

that man can create, a better Hell. 

Though he may succeed in the attempt,

life is never lived out for what it was truly meant. 

So man is blind to all he has got,

creating for himself a better device,

to trap the time,

and he calls it a clock. 

And this house man paints,

he paints to save.

All the while led to a grave,

never to create a truer home.

All man does to create a better prison,

he does it,

and he does it alone. 

Never to give his hour to God,

to lesser fortune or better men. 

So he finds himself, creating bars

again and again. 

Pick to rock: Afraid of what is buried

under his skin.

America has given me… a kind of freedom.

God has given me…freedom. 

-By Eric Weick 

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

That's a statement well-versed in the lines...
the nature of it and its intent carries the work...
the reason behind the ordeal...
and the last two lines some this verse:

America has given me… a kind of freedom.
God has given me…freedom.

[Eric Weick]

Thank you Glen. The last two lines are my favorite part of the poem.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Well -- that makes us --- both...then...I do not constitute four walls and a roof and a foundation as freedom...since I still have to lock my doors at night and build a fence to keep away the intended freedom...from a safe distance...same as a country...where as a man of faith needs no house --- but his belief is everywhere without barriers...

[s y e]

Eric this is smashing. I really loved the metaphor and poem as a whole. A lot of powerful wording and a powerful message.

[Eric Weick]

Thank you Noodlehead.

[Cory Barrett]

this is slathered with wonderful scheme, and interesting metaphor. good write.

[Eric Weick]

Thank you Streamline.

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write. Thank you for sharing...:).....................