Watching cement dry...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sitting

watching cement dry

smooth and soft

smokey gray…

 

Up the street

a playground

sidewalk-chalk smiles

kids with no cares

shooting hoops

ice cream drips on

worn concrete

always sunny days…

 

Just across the street

pavement now cracked

broken in places

lives torn by

violence

fractured

like asphalt…

 

And the cement

is a pillow for one

a protection

for another

a gathering place for

storytellers

walkers

dancers

lovers…

 

Asphalt roadways

stretching through

lonely paths

rolling across hills

through valleys

drifting

curving

they wind

like rivers

endlessly…

 

Life walks on

slowly

as I watch

cement dry…

Reviews

[Emily B]

amazing words

awesome stuff

so glad to read these words

[C. Harter Amos]

Your words are so powerfully descriptive! This is full of phrases that pleasure the imagination and bring things to life. "Life walks on slowly" (the embodied 'life' pictured walking, as it does, slowly), "Asphalt roadways stretching," (you can FEEL them physically stretching, breaking impossibilities), "Lonely paths rolling across hills, through valleys," (all the 'l's rolling off the tongue and tickling the senses.) The word "FRACTURED" fairly smacks you in the head and "a playground sidewalk-chalk smiles" is so original that it makes one want to hug you for not writing like so many do! The title and end bring it all together perfectly. Well done and enjoyable.

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

"Up the street
A playground
Sidewalk-chalk smiles
Kids with no cares
Shooting hoops
Ice cream drips on
Worn concrete
Always Sunny days

just across the street
pavement now cracked
Broken in places
Lives torn by
Violence
Fractured
Like asphalt."

I feel this way about my life all together lol I love this peice!! It's amazing!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

"And the cement
Is a pillow for one
A protection
For another
A gathering place for
Storytellers
Walkers
Dancers
lovers"
Beautiful words, beautiful write! Watching cement dry can actually be that beautiful!

[Wildfleour]

I really liked this, Craig.

My favorite part was:

And the cement

Is a pillow for one

A protection

For another

A gathering place for

Storytellers

Walkers

Dancers

lovers

[Ladysue]

Wow, this was a great perspective. You really capture how life is many different things for different people and how it does make it's mark on us and we on it. The last stanza is brilliant....A profound write!!!!

[Alaska Frost]

So many metaphors! It really did make me think!
It's amazing how something like a cement road can be a playground for innocent children, while for others it's something they get hurt by. And even for others, the road is their life, as they struggle to make a living. I hope I didn't misinterpret it!!
Very well-written and wonderful poem!!!
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!!
-Alaska Frost :)

[Meredith Leigh]

The whole atmosphere of this poem was really cool. I liked the feelig it gave me, and how it was all based around cement was cool too. You still kept the flow and everything. Not easy to do! Awesome!

- Kriss

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Love the metaphoric use of showing how life leaves it marks upon us, some good and some bad and yet we leave our mark on life too, god or bad is up to us.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

You like blow life in your daily walk street, you describe the change of life, from young to old, and back, as you stopped and waech the cement, takingits time to get dry, Thanks Yossi