Gathering food

The way they talked

And, the way they walked

Was what captivated her senses!

She watched them drink

And she heard them sing

She dived in…took her breath…

And up she came again

(Another glance)

The way they laughed

The way they joked

Was what captivated her senses!

She watched them untie

And she watched them tie

She dived in…took her breath…

And up she came again

(Another glance)

The way they sat

And the way the looked

Was what gave her the idea

She watched them pack,

Food on the tip and the back

She dived in…took her breath

And remained

She watched them rise

She watched them yawn

She watched them cry

She watched them smile

And she watched them fin…

One, two, three, …, twenty

That’s all that remained

She took her breath…

And up she went

(A new glance)

She watched it rise

She watched it sink…

White was all it was!

She swam to the mark

And she watched it swing

She dived in…took her breath…

And remained

Just one piercing near the lip

And a little luck

She closed her eyes

And hoped to live

She watched the food…

At the tip and the back…

She took another breath

And remained

She shook it a bit

And tore off the food…

It was easy at the back

Off she went with the pack of food

And delivered…

One, two, three…ten

Ten remained

She took some breath

And went ahead

She shook it a bit

Couldn’t tear off the food

Risking her lip she tried to push

The morsel wouldn’t rise…

She now tried to pull…

And off came of the food…

She tried to swim

But she flew high up

She held on to her breath

And remained…frozen!

She felt their hands on her lips

They undid the hook!

They smelled her throughout

And held her small tail

A swing of the hand

And off she went…

She grasped for breath

And breathed…

There it was

The small chunk of the food

She took it in her lips

And hoped she’d not bleed

And delivered…

She watched them eat

And took another breath

And remained.

Reviews

[magenta24uk]

I thought it was about a mermaid at first! Lovely piece and makes you think twice about going fishing. :)

[Chandradhish Ghosh]

Thank you Magenta...I'm glad that you like it.

[Sami Khalil]

A very unique subject on fish and food and you have done a great job from the perspective of the fish...Really different...Bravo

[Chandradhish Ghosh]

Thank you for the review Sami..

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...Always an experience...:).................

[Augustus]

I think it is a very clever piece. I like the casual, almost flippant tone of the poem. It goes well with the fact that the poem has been written from the perspective of the poem. Also, the tone of the poem doesn't change even when the situation changes from being one of harmless curiosity to a matter of life and death. Fish aren't really known for their intelligence, and the consistent tone of the poem reflects that in a subtle but clear way. I also feel that this piece is very unique, not only because you have chosen an uncommon topic, but also because it shows the fish's point of view rather than the fisherman's. I also like the title "Gathering Food", because the central theme, irrespective of whose perspective you adopt, is about gathering food! Just so happens that it means the end of the road for one. In terms of poetic devices, I really like your use of repetition. It is almost like the way a tale unfolds in different acts in a play. This is brought out well especially in the way you end each stanza.
Overall, I think it is a very effective and a very creative poem. Well done!

[Pryde Foltz]

Poor little fish; learns not from her mistakes. Clever piece.

[Chandradhish Ghosh]

Thank you Pryde...