Why I cut

Everyone asks, I might as well tell.

I used to cut, but I don't anymore. No, I've been blade free for almost three months. But that doesn't mean that when I see a razor I don't get excited. When I think about cutting my heart rate still rises. I am ashamed of this but it is still true. My reason is justified let me explain it for you. I don't do it for the attention, I bleed in silence. Until my cuts are healed I always have been hiding. Its just that as I see the blood run I can finally breathe, because all this blood that's coming out is everything I've held inside of me. All the pain I had to endure. All the tears I couldn't cry because I had to be strong. My childhood was taken away from me, I can't get that back, and yet I am surrounded by family who all call me a liar because it is easier to dismiss me then face reality. I am in a room with him every Thanksgiving unable to be thankful because all I can think about is how he touched me. And now I found a man that I love and even his touch disgusts me. I cut so that I can breath, so that everything can be lifted even if it's only momentary. I know is wrong and I know it's destructive but for God sakes! Help me cope with it, instead of causing me more grieving. I want to stop, I really do. But I can't do it alone. I need you.

Author's Note

Please leave a review! Even if you thought it was horrible, feedback is always good.

Reviews

[Thegoodgatasby]

Hi, I've never been able to write in this format. The last few lines rhyming I thought made a nice contrast to lack of rhyme elsewhere. I think it is good that people write about these things because if people don't the how can we possibly change attitudes. I thought the bluntness of what you wrote was far preferable to giving metaphors to guess the poems tone and the feelings and thoughts of the experience. Thanks for sharing, Grace :).