Windy Night

Windy Night

Inside……

 

People

Cocooned within fuzzy blankets

Chattering teeth,

eat the warmth off candles

Waxy perfect smiles

We’re okay.

 

Outside……..

 

Wind

Roars in rebels

B***h slapping water,

waves join the rampage

Leaving a signature stamp of destruction,

of the one and only Mother Nature

Foolish, humans.

Author's Note

I couldn't resist some free verse! I was inspired by some poetry I'd read so attempted a bit of abstract stuff. I would like some feedback of what you thought of this write!
Also many thanks to OT who gave me some help with this one!

Reviews

[Lucille Borns]

Hey Chels(ea):
This is my first time reading on of your poems. So far, I am greatly impressed. For someone of your age, you are amazingly talented. I am guessing that your best subject is English?! I know mine is. But one thing that I found was that I spent too much time working on my stories, and I got way behind in my other subjects.

As of your poem, excellent. I love the way you compared the inside view and the outside view of a wind storm. I know that in a storm, it always feels good to be inside. Your sentence structure was excellent and so was your description. Most people have a hard time with description, but girl, you have it nailed! Thanks for sharing it with us!

❤ Lucille

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Who could escape the fury of the wind, well written.

[.]

Nice work! I love your writing style. Its so creative to describe the outside then the inside. Really creative. I wish I could write a free verse poem like this. Nice one.

~Dante Dahabreh

[Gone.]

Man this poem is really good, A freeverse huh, I am not sure exactly all the diffrent syles of poems n stuff but this was a cool poem. Thnx

[Aven]

as free as a free verse should be! an easy and enjoyable read. :)

[Arabdha]

i can say you are good with abstract..coz this one is a great piece..my favorite part -
"Waxy perfect smiles
We’re okay"..keep writing :)

[J Michael Simmonds]

I'm glad you went back to Free Verse...You write that well

[al25]

I really like ur personification. Works really well. Like the different perspective inside and outside. Great job.

[S.L Ross]

very visual. I liked it.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love your images, Chels.. my two favorites: "chattering teeth, eat the warmth off candles" and "wind roars in rebels b***h slapping water"

Your words speak volumes in such short lines and you capture "Windy Night" perfectly.

My only constructive criticism would be a more powerful ending instead of "foolish, humans"... the ending just leaves me a little flat, but that could just be me.

[Rose Masen]

I LOVEDDD how the scenery switched in the middle of the poem. Beautifully captured.