Prologue: The Man I Am

Prologue: The Man I Am

A magazine lies upon the sidewalk. I pick up its crumpled self and flip it open to the first page. The page is of a family.

They are sitting upon a couch, glued to the television. The Mom and Dad are cuddled into a knot; their hands are entwined in a loving embrace. Their children, with mirrored faces of the parents, are sitting in perfect harmony.

My hand grips the paper, crumpling this sweet picture. Just like my perfect family was.

 

Reviews

[robyn.alexandra]

A straightforward and simple start that sets the mind racing.
So many possible routes you could take this, you have a very different way of approaching it than I would and don't get caught up in the pointless details and heaps of description, you keep it bare and stripped back and catch the reader so easily.

[Daydreamer54]

I agree with robyn. i wonder what problem he has with his own family...did they turn him away??? reading on

[tynamite]

It's emotional already. This could be a blurb!

[Midday_Mystery]

okay you got me, I am ready to read this...... Great job..... Captivating me so quickly, Not like me.... but you got me so hey This is gonna be super!

[Michael Davis]

I like it.

[Calypso]

Nice opening

[Abbie]

this is great i like how you just kinda leave the end hanging like where you say "Just like my perfect family was "

100/100

[Linear]

It's a start :O)

[TheFemininePad]

Pretty straight forward, and to the point. It sort of grabbed my attention. I would suggest make it more suspenseful. The prologue in a story doesn't have to be the very beginning. A perfect example that I can give for a prologue is the Twilight prologue for the book. Bella is talking about James in the dance studio, and how he was going to kill her. It's an exciting beginning to a story. Prologue don't have to always be the very beginning. :). That's one my suggestion for you.

[Cynthia]

Heart breaking but a very straightforward start. I love the start of this story, I believe I will LOVE this story! I love how you had catch our attention in the very beginning! Nice Job!