"You"

"You"

Love… Love is such a damaging feeling you can be a part of. It makes me you feel so full of life, and alone at the same time with the wrong person. That feeling you get when you want to do anything with “that someone” it’s all that matters… Your emotions take control of your body and if anything stands in your way it gets dealt with in unexpected ways.

That ugly emotion takes control of who you are inside. You have no say what happens, just that it has too. Now you must live with yourself knowing what that feels like, and how it feels to lose it in such a violent way. I guess in the end its always violent emotionally… That feeling alone can drive a mind to do what seems to be crazy things from a different point of view…

It’s a hell of a thing, how one persons view of something can seem normal but to someone else be an affliction. Confusion in the eyes of someone you love to me is just gift wrapped pain, just waiting to be uncovered for what it really is.. Fear of not knowing what to do next. Has that fear ever driven you to do unreasonable things? Things that may seem just at the time, then to the one you love be hollow and hurtful for no reason..

The rollercoaster of change you can’t control is terrifying. The feeling of not understanding why cripples not only the body, it destroys hope for a future that was once had. Loosing yourself and someone else is bad enough but loosing plans for a better life in the process is a f*****g tragedy.

You’re forced to make new plans, plans that only involve you, so you don’t hurt anymore. Plans that were greater in your mind than before, but deep down you know they are all missing that one thing. That one thing you want to forget and wish you never had so your life can become whole again. That one thing you feel weak for holding on to for hopes of a better future, and deep down you hate yourself because you know it’s a fantasy.

A fantasy you want so badly, because you don’t want to be scared of not knowing what happens next.. You want your hope back.. You want your life back.. You want love.. You want to feel normal again.

I hate you.. For making me feel so much.