Living life as a other

A Story by Erika

edited

We all wonder how our lives will end.

Some of us think of drowning, others by burning up alive, or even a natural disaster….

I never thought much about how my life would end…., I always knew deep down inside how my life would end.

Then It happens... It started off like every other Saturday, waking up to my mother yelling, and complaining about the house not being clean, or the bills were coming up or about me spending my money on other things instead of helping out the house.

I lived in Greeley, Colorado at the time.

I only had a year living here, Here in Colorado, it was so easy to find crystal meth.

I was never proud of my meth addiction, but I also never stopped it… as my addiction increase to using needles, and shooting myself up, put me at risk for death.

I never thought it would happen, but at the same time I knew it was going to happen, then it did.

I remember opening my eyes, they felt so heavy for only getting an hour of sleep, The night before I remember being at a friends house, shooting up all night not caring what could happen.

I got up rubbing my eyes hearing my mother saying “you live like a rich person, getting to sleep late.” 11;30 am was on my phone.

I rushed to start cleaning, grabbed the broom, picked up the living room, and swept the house.

When I was ready to mop I felt exhausted, a pressure on my chest.

Mopping my house was hard, only a towel, and the way my mom likes it if not she would say “If your not gonna do it right then don't do it,” I was halfway done when the pain started.

I thought to myself its time, I fell to the floor with a loud “Thud” I knew I was starting to have a major heart attack.

I remember being rushed in an ambulance the loud sound ringing in my ears the sounds would be loud then they would fade away, then turned loud again, as if someone was turning up and down the volume on a radio, while my chest was in tremendous pain.

My last memories of life were seeing my mother next to me.

Tears were running down her cheek I could see the pain she was in... Seeing the paramedics ripping my shirt off and giving out instructions to one another, One was getting me connected to the machines, while another one was taking my pulse, The last one was talking on the radio, Saying “ 22 Male, Having heart failure”, Looks like Meth Overdose”, By the looks of his arms he is IV user’ His heart is out of control, can't seem to control and stabilize the heart rate, still 9 minutes before arrival”.

The paramedics kept asking me questions and telling me what to do... I paid no attention to them, Inside I knew I was not gonna make it, I was more interested in listening to my mom, as She just kept repeating and repeating, “I love you!

I love you!

Please forgive me!

I know I was a horrible mother.

I'm sorry I love you!” She repeated herself while holding my hand, As I stared at her, my surroundings started to turn white just a white bright light cutting in and out of my sight, I died at 22 years of age.

Meth overdose,