The Berserker

A wrestling match told in first-person.

I am in front of a crowd of 1,000 people, standing in the middle of the squared circle, waiting for my opponent. I am wearing a grey T-shirt, black boots, and black corduroy pants. The referee was there and ring announcer was in the centre of the ring, looking formal.

I looked to my family, who had front row seats to ringside. My family consisted of my mom, dad, and adopted Chinese sister. They all waved to me and I waved to them. I was excited and at the same time nervous.

As soon as I heard the ring announcer say my name, Christopher Assaf, I raised my arm in the air, pointing with my finger. I then brought my arm down, took of my shirt, and gave it to the ring attendant.

There he was. Larger than life, I saw my opponent, the Berserker. I did not even listen much as the announcer announced my opponent. My opponent was a fairly big man. I estimated that he was a bit over six feet tall and weighed approximately 200 pounds. He was wearing a Viking outfit, carrying a sword, shield, and was wearing a helmet. He was also covered in a bearskin.

He was roaring at the crowd as he made his way to the ring. The crowd cheered for him in such a way that I could tell that they loved him. He climbed into the ring and waved his sword around a little bit. I wisely kept my distance and so did the referee and announcer. At this point, I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was nervous but at the same time, I knew I had a job to do.

I began to pray in my head that the Berserker wouldn’t be too hard on me. I stared at my opponent tight-lipped as he took off his bearskin and helmet and gave them to the ring attendant. He also gave his shield to the ring attendant as well. But, he didn’t give away his sword. He moved closer to the edge of the ring with his word drawn.

My heart was racing as I backed away to the turnbuckle and hoped he did not advance towards me. He faced the crowd and raised his sword in the air. He gave a mighty yell and the crowd cheered. He then gave the sword to the referee, who then put the sword in a ringside corner.

The referee called for the bell, which signalled the start of the match. As soon as the bell rung, I wanted to panic, but I tried my best to keep my nerve. I kept my eye on the Berserker and approached the center of the ring slowly.

The Berserker glowered at me but said nothing. We both circled around the ring, eyeing each other. Actually, it was the Berserker eyeing me the whole time. I alternated between eyeing my opponent and looking down at my feet.

I crouched down, back slightly arched, ready to grapple him. My opponent did likewise. “Okay,” I muttered to myself, “It is time to do this.” While crouching and back arched, we moved around in a half-circle once more.

I hesitated for a minute, partly for nervousness and partly to look for an opening. Under his beard, I could make out a small pendant around his neck. It was shaped in the form of Thor’s hammer. In an effort to distract him somehow, I made a compliment about his pendant.

After I made the compliment, he appeared to look down at the ground, as if trying to catch a glimpse of the pendant under his beard. At that, I threw myself at the Berserker. I threw myself at his face, specifically.

I caught his head in my arms and tried to wrap my arms around it. The Berserker wiggled and wrest his head from me. Suddenly, he lurched forward and drove his right knee into my stomach, causing me to bend down and let out a big “OOF!”

Just as I was about to absorb the blow, I felt a hard fist come down hard across my back, driving me to my knees. It felt like a rock had dropped down hard on my back, but not too hard. I tried to reach behind me to feel the spot where the fist had hit my back, only then to feel a hard boot ram against the left side to my head, driving me face down into the ring mat.

All I could think of now was the hope that he would back off for a bit and let me recover. Maybe even help me up and let me recover. After what seemed like ten seconds, I felt a hard stomp to the middle of my back, right where the fist had earlier landed. The blow caused me to flop up and down on the mat once. I held my head with one head and my back with the other.

Two seconds after I had done so, I felt the back of my neck being gripped tightly and I was pulled roughly to my knees. It was clear that I was about to suffer even more. I was scared as to what the Berserker had in store for me as I was then slowly “helped ” to my feet.

As soon as I got on both feet, the Berserker put his hand under my chin, making my eyes meet his. He looked at me with Malice. He wrenched back for two seconds, and then launched his upper body forward, driving his forehead into mine, causing me to stagger back and have a headache.

I fell to my side and started to lie down on the mat, on my back. I tried to close my eyes and hoped that I would faint. I could not bring myself to faint as I saw the Berserker stand over me and lift up his right foot.

He then drove his foot into my stomach, causing me to cry out. The Berserker bent down and pushed my shoulders onto the mat again. He then drove his boot into my stomach a second time, causing me to cry out again. I then felt a stomp in my right shoulder blade and a stomp to my back.

After those stomps, I began wondering what my back looked like at this point. I was wondering, specifically, if it was bruised. I felt the back of my neck being grabbed and pulled slowly to my feet. I then felt a fist across the left side of my face, causing me to turn around and fall on my knees and elbows.

It was a miracle I did not fall flat on my face. I fell flat on my face as I felt a hard boot crash down to the back of my head. “At least it not my back this time,” I thought. I didn’t even have time to absorb the blow as I was pulled to my feet once more and backed into a ring turnbuckle.

My back was rested against the turnbuckle and my arms were draped across either side of it, on the top rope. I was too weary now to resist. The Berserker was straightening me up and sizing up chest. With one hand on me, he raised his other hand, in an open palm, high above his head. Within seconds, he brought it down hard, across my chest. I yelped in response as it stung.

He started to undrape my arms from the ropes. I thought at first that he was going to show some mercy as he pulled me away from the corner. He turned me around where I faced the turnbuckle and then pushed back into the corner.

I braced myself for what more there was to come as my arms were draped across the ropes again. I felt like my arms were being tied up. I rested my head on the turnbuckle and arched my back so I could give myself time to recuperate from what I had suffered so far.

SLAP! STING!

I yelped as I felt a stinging blow to my back. It felt like the exact same hit that the Berserker rained down on my chest earlier. I straightened my back for a brief second and then arched it again. A few seconds later, I felt another stinging blow to my back. It felt like a dozen bees had just stung me directly in the back and that I could not fight them off because I was tied up.

I felt my arms being undraped and I was turned around to face the opposite turnbuckle. The Berserker took my arm and launched me as hard as all his strength can muster across the ring to the opposite turnbuckle. I slammed back first into the turnbuckle, causing to bounce off the turnbuckle and land face first onto the ring mat.

At that point, I instinctively reached behind me to feel my back and kept it there, refusing to remove it from my back. I was hoping that the match would end, that he would pin me and get it over with. I could hear his footsteps approaching me and then suddenly, stop.

I was about to suffer more as grabbed the back of my neck and yanked me to my feet. I was backed into the ropes and launched across the ring to the opposite side of the ring. As I bounced off the ropes, The Berserker did a 180-degree turn and lifted his elbow up to shoulder level. My face bounced off his elbow and I fell back first to the ring mat.

I was now feeling a bit woozy and the voices were starting to fade. I could hear faint sounds of cheering. I could have sworn that I was on the verge of fainting. My vision was starting to blur slightly. I could make out the Berserker standing over me and grabbing a handful of my hair. He pulled my slowly to my feet, but kept me bent at a ninety-degree angle.

He then put my head between his legs and let me stay there for a minute, giving me time to contemplate what is going to happen next. I was struggling to stay on my feet even though I was losing consciousness.

I felt myself hoisted up into the air by my stomach, where I saw the top of the Berserker’s head. He held me there for a short time. I was panicked at this point. He then yelled, “ODIN!” in as loud a voice as possible. The second after that, he jumped up and landed down on his butt onto the ring mat, driving me back first onto the mat.

I was too sore and barely conscious to even move. The berserker was in a sitting position and I could faintly hear the ring mat being slapped and the referee counting in Norwegian. The only thing that I could hear clearly was the bell ringing.

That’s it. No more. That match was done. I felt myself being rolled onto my front. I finally faded into unconsciousness. Strangely enough, I started to dream.

I dreamt that I was in a big, open field. It was sunny and full of flowers. My sister and I were in the field playing. There were butterflies flitting about. We were having fun chasing them and trying to catch them. Each time we neared a butterfly, one of them yelled, “EEK!” and flew away as fast as it could. However, that did not stop us from trying to catch them.

Suddenly, the dream faded. I felt my eyes open slowly. I struggled to open my eyes fully and adjust my sight. When I finally opened my eyes, I saw my family standing before me along with a nurse. I looked around and found that I was in a bed in the infirmary. I saw that my boots were gone (I was barefoot) and that I still had my pants on and was wearing a blue hospital gown.

“Oh. You’re awake,” mused the nurse in a thick Norwegian accent. I tried to get up but my dad stopped me. “No, son,” said my dad, “Rest.” I laid back down on the bed.

“You were great,” quipped my sister Karen. I looked sad and told my family that the match was totally one-sided. My mom looked at me and smiled and my dad gave a light-hearted laugh. He assured me that I looked great. He told me that me and Karen both look great when we wrestle, even though we always lose. He reminded us that it was part of the show.

The nurse asked me, “Okay, Mr. Assaf. How are you feeling?”

“Still sore”, I replied.

“Well, you have been checked out by the doctor. You have some slight bruising to your back. The bruises should go away in a few days. Meanwhile, lie here for a little while. You should be ready to go in an hour or two. The doctor will give you the final confirmation then.” With that, the nurse left.

My family smiled at me again. Karen took my hand, patted it, and laid her head on my shoulder. That made me feel good.

I thought about the match. I was totally squashed by the Berserker. I thought of it as an adventure. Maybe next time, I will get better. For now, this is just another day for the jobber.