fireheart

on days that thoughts tear through me like knives

all the world is silent 

i collapse in on myself like a dying fire

embers that once birthed bright, beautiful flame 

dwindle into smoke and cinders 

and i search for the answers 

in the remnants of myself 

but the aching will not cease

sorrow claws its way up my throat until i taste its bitterness like ash

i am leaden with grief

i choke on the loss, its poison leaching into my veins

until all that is left is the numbness 

until i have nothing left but hollow eyes and an empty heart 

on those days, a flicker of heat stirs somewhere within me

i suffocate it

strangle it

smother it

i banish that spark of life

go, I beg. I have no use for you today.

and I wonder when the darkness will win.