Left Behind

Left Behind

 

I try my best to fathom in the world you chose to dedicate

Yet the other side where I will always be the blind.

Patience have been difficult,

In the arctic embrace of loneliness

Especially when your presence has been absent.

Please try to comprehend the words I’m mustering

As I’m choked up inside.

There’s no explanation to my unruliness to you, but I’ll express it the best I can.

To endure the everyday life,

Of the title that I chose for myself,

I must pretend you’re only absent in the same hours as if you never left.

The shift takes on,

The night time falls

I fall into slumber

In a room that would not reminisce your existence,

It’s just easier that way.

As the days get longer,

The holidays become emptier,

I fear that my heart of ravenous will dissolve.

What will happen then?

Could you forgive me?

Could you stand to be with me as I shout into defiance?

How long could we go on in this place called separation?

Would I have failed as a woman, because I could not withstand the responsibility of your duties?

I feel so torn,

Part of me wants to stand beside you as a proud patron supporter,

The other wants to throw the towel in and say, “I just can’t take this any longer.”

I would stop breathing if you asked me too,

I would give my all just to be with you,

But to be apart from you I was unaware just how intricate it would be to endure.

I’m being judged, by others who have not suffered the long days without foundation

They have no clue of the hardship that brings upon the surface.

Tell me, what happens to those left behind?

Most of us are unaware of the resources that are available to them,

Instructions given, written in codes unfamiliar to those who are foreign

We weren’t trained to withhold our tears

And bring out a front of bravery,

So tell me . . .

What are we to do while you are away?

 

By:  Chong N. Kim

22 December 2008