Faux

We were

Subtle smiles on lying lips

Or I was at least.

 

We were laughing

Behind crooked teeth

And scowling in our minds

We were

    Half bitten words

And silent malice

We were everything we

                Wished we weren’t.

          

           Or I was at least.

Reviews

[Beatrice Mars]

Oooh love love love. Nice metaphor/thing with being like expresions, 'subtle smiles on lying lips,' I love that, i think it's the alliteration, it just makes it sound so good, cause the sibilance is almost onomatopoeic, except that smiles don't make noises, so it's the connotations of those noises...it's just so creepy...I just love that all the images are sort of half beautiful and have scary and it's all so obviously not all quite right or true, but even the 'I' doesn't even know the truth...(sorry about sounding like an english exam, but i've been practising poetry anaylsis..) Oh and I love the structure of this, 'cause it makes it visually disjointed aswell...I could go on and on (gushing) and it's just a few lines! So much skill...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx