Beyond the Pain

Im trying to broaded my range a bit, this is a new piece : )

After a long journey back

From coming perilously close to falling apart

I'm still standing

Realizing that I was briefly disoriented

Believing that the life I once had was built on love  

I narrowly escaped with my sanity

The love I had, I thought it was pure

But it was really poison

Gripping my heart, with quicksand like suction

Squeezing the life out of me

I wasn’t as happy as I appeared to be

Frighteningly fast, my life completely changed

I tried to fight, hold on

But soon my eyes were burned by the blinding bright images of my future

Staring right in front of me

Finally I accepted it, moved forward

It felt like I was awakened from a coma by a deafening explosion

Now I'm free from all the lies and deceit of a life that took so much from me

I’m living my dreams

I’ve even found love, as strong as monsoon like winds

That has swept me away to a paradise

I never knew existed

More comfortable in my own skin

Confident and independent

I refuse to look back

Instead I will continue beyond the pain of yesterday

 

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Wow, I am use to the erotica sensuality ivory, this is a new ivory. a great piece as well. I love how you and I understand each other poetically. We have been through very tough relationships, and we found a way to escape their poisons; through a cathartic poetry medication (lol). I like your metaphors,

"Gripping my heart, with quicksand like suction
Squeezing the life out of me.."
I write in metaphors too, I feel they are more descriptive, and more engaging for the reader. Plus, my mind and your mind are a like; we think so deeply and creatively than the average person....great job!

[Samuel Dickens]

I love a happy ending. When you think about it, it's a miracle that anyone can find a good, compatible mate when they're young. My first try was a disaster, probably much like the relationship you so well describe here. I'm glad you're now able to "continue beyond the pain of yesterday."

[Raja]

The poem is quivering with the pathos and melancholy. It gives real touch to the thinking mind.

Like it a lot.

Thanks.

Raja

[Orlando Murcia]

Very nice

lot's of expressions and artistic flow

Great write Lovely

[~ tides ~]

Very nice.... glad that you've seemed to have found your happiness. Sometimes we have to climb over obstacles to finally get to that happy place.

[Jaclyn]

I like the strong message of this poem, and you can definitely feel all the emotion behind the words. The only thing I would say is that when you are doing descriptive words, I don't think you really need to say "quicksand-like" or "monsoon-like winds". For example, if you said "gripping my heart with quicksand suction" it would feel more graceful and would still get its point across. I'm feelin' it...motivational!