The Lieutenant's Office

A senior law enforcement official has a bizarre passion.

 

“ ‘…and furthermore, the open toed shoes would allow the feet of our female officers…’ no strike that (backspace backspace), ‘…officerette’s to breath.’ Yes that’s very good,” thought the Lieutenant as he sent the memo for the Police Chief to the printer.

 

“Lieutenant, may I speak to you?”

 

“Yes, Officer Linton. What can I do for you?” He was always careful to maintain his air of professionalism around his officers. Particularly attractive female officers.

 

“Well, it’s just that I’ve had a request in for a new set of boots for over a month and haven’t heard anything back.”

 

“Oh, yes, the boots. I held it up because I’m looking in other directions for footwear. I was just working on the project. I think everyone will be pleased.”

 

“Do you know how much longer? It’s just that these are really worn out.” As she said this, she lifted her right leg above the desk to show him the worn boot. A little swath of smooth skin peeked out from between the top of the boot and the cuff of the pants.

 

Seized with an idea, the Lieutenant responded, “Let me see that.” She held her boot a bit closer. She was now contorted in a very unnatural position in an attempt to comply with her Lieutenant’s request.

 

“I think you should take them off. Um, sock too.”

 

“Why do you need my so…” she thought better not to argue. She took off on her right sock and held it in her hand, while offering the Lieutenant her boot.

 

He immediately walked around the desk and glanced down at her bare foot. Much to his chagrin, Linton’s feet were not attractive at all. They appeared rough and calloused and lacking in ornamentation. She obviously did not care much about her feet at all.

 

“Get your boot on and get out of my office.” He said icily.

 

“But you asked me…”

 

“You’re a good cop, but you have a lot to learn about feet. I would sign your request for new boots, if I didn’t think you would ruin them the second you put your hooves into them. Good day.

 

The Lieutenant went to the printer and snatched his memo off of the tray. “What was I thinking? What if all of the females in the department have feet like Linton’s? I need more research.”

 

At that moment, he saw a rooky female officer meandering down the hall. Her name escaped him, but that didn't stop him from shouting to her in a loud, commanding voice, he said,  “You! Officer So and So, in my office!”

 

As she entered, he said, “Show me your feet.”

 

“I beg your pardon.”

 

Catching himself, “I understand you’ve been struggling at the shooting range?” It was a guess. He actually didn’t know, but it was worth a shot.

 

“Well, yeah. I’d like to improve.”

 

“The most important thing about shooting is your base. Would you like me to give you a few pointers?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Take off your boots and socks.”

 

“Sir?”

 

“You trust me, don’t you?” She began taking off her shoes as he continued. “I need to have a look at those feet to see if you have a good base. Makes sense, doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes, sir,”

 

“Damn it. Gross. Put them back on. You’re feet are better suited for negotiating rocky crags than anything to do with police work.”

 

“So, I can’t get better at shooting?”

 

“No, but if I ever need a good sherpa, I’ll call you.”

 

Filled with anxiety, he ran out into the hallway and spotted a female detective.

 

“Hi, Lieutenant.”

 

Without verbally responding, he wrestled her to the ground and pulled her clogs off, revealing opaque nylon stockings. He began pulling the right stocking, but it just wouldn’t come free. He realized that it was probably the foot of a pair of panty hose. However, he had managed to stretch a good three feet of nylon from her pants leg. He put it in his mouth to anchor the foot while he pulled. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed by the urge to swallow the pungent hosiery.

 

“Lieutenant, stop! I’ll go to the bathroom and give them to you,” but it was too late. The meshy treat was lodged in his esophagus and he began to gag. He turned blue and went unconscious shortly after. 

 

When he awoke, a male officer was giving him mouth to mouth until he revived the slightly embarrassed Lieutenant.

 

“Get off of me, you idiot!” The Lieutenant cried. With great effort he dragged himself to his desk, plucked the memo from the surface and put it in the shredder. The Lieutenant put one finger in the air as if about to make a declaration and then expired. The cause of death was later discovered to be acute tinea pedis of the trachea. Athletes Foot.

 

 

After a few days, the forensic team pieced together the Lieutenant's shredded memorandum to the Chief. The subject line read:

 

“Open Toed Shoes for the Female Officer. Let’s All Stop Wondering"

 

http://www.myspace.com/chanceransom

 

 

Author's Note

I don't really write police stories, even though I'm a cop. In my humble opinion, they have been done to death. All characters in this story are purely fictitious. Any likeness to real persons is purely coincidental.

Reviews

[Damian Alan Gray]

Overall, I'd have to say that this was pretty damned entertaining. Forget about the sexism involved and forget about the grammatical errors, the story was neatly wrapped up with a fitting and almost moral end. Beyond that, the ending irony was sublime.
However, if I were to amend the story, it would only be to expand upon the mindset of the lieutenant. There are fetishes and there are passions, and his was an obsession that deserves a bit more exploration into his past. How had his fetish become so degraded as to allow him to compulsively attack one of his officers, wrangle her to the ground without explanation and begin eating her nylons? It's like there's an entire story missing behind this, and I think you would only add flavor to the stew by by adding some extra spice.

[Flame DM]

i laughed the entire time i read this =] this is absolutely hilarious. I almost fell off the bed when the lieutenant tackled the officer down! Excellent write!

Flame

[James Watts]

Very nice write. And funny. Nice work.

[JC]

LOL, now I can justify all the money I spend on pedicures....

A foot fetish, eh? Must be a pisces.

Ok, enough of that. Great story line, and charactor. A testiment to what happens when we let our vices get the better of us.

JC

[TL Boehm]

This was hilarious, quirky and thoroughly entertaining....I'm hiding my scaly feet under my chair now, thank you very much.

[Yvonne Heidt]

I agree with the entertaining part! Your sense of humor shines throughout (and thanks for the end - he deserved it!)

Great job Michael - glad to see you posting! :)

[None]

What a fantastic imagination. I can see where a bit of a foot fetish fueled this story and stepped up to deliver this so well. I had to laugh through this and the visuals your story produced...
""You're a good cop, but you have a lot to learn about feet. I would sign your request for new boots, if I didn't think you would ruin them the second you put your hooves into them. Good day."
You may not be aware that a manicure/pedicure plus a tip runs at least $50.00 and twice a month would run $100.00. Maybe you should suggest to the department that the female officers get time off work and vouchers for pedicures. It's hard to put a freshly pedicured foot into a boot so additional time off would be needed. The open toed shoes that would have presented a safety problem, would not be needed then. lol. I enjoyed your entertaining story. You may consider doing a series like this.