As We Knew

[A very short story] As we knew Haley was a tidy girl, we also knew she wouldn't say anything when we borrowed her orderly notes and [...]

As we knew Haley was a tidy girl, we also knew she wouldn't say anything when we borrowed her orderly notes and submerged them into a smudge of black and blue. Fooling around is children's trade, we knew that as well.

We knew Haley had other, silent thoughts, as she had dreamt of becoming a doctor one day, but we informed her that we knew it will never happen.

We knew Haley's hair resembled a frayed paintbrush, and we made sure she knew that, too. We knew she liked the sea, so we let her eat some sand as we tried to bury her beneath our coarse-grained castle.

Remove a classmate, and it wouldn't matter a great deal; but we knew that when Haley was sick for a day or two, the equilibrium of the class had been wobbling with force.

We knew there was strength in unity, so our history teacher said, and hence we knew we could do as we please despite what he said afterwards.

We knew there used to be times when Haley would show anger, and in days gone by, her voice wasn't as hoarse. Maybe for that reason, she wouldn't speak so much these days.

We knew, somehow, that she would become a nonentity. Yet we never knew the cold of her gravestone would cover our hands with frostbite, plunder us of our sleep, as if we had laid our heads upon it at night.

Author's Note

I would love to receive any feedback - especially about my English, as it isn't my first language.
Other than that, thoughts/feelings/impressions/criticism are most welcome!
Thank you!

Reviews

[angel]

I'm surprised that English isn't your first language, as your writing in English gives not a single clue concerning that!
Very interesting write, innocent of errors, as far as I can see; very fine!
What happened to Haley, if I might ask. Just curious. Short as this story was, it still left me caring about her.

[Conjurer]

I'm so happy to hear this! :)
This feedback is very important to me. Thank you!

I'm glad you cared about Haley. As for her end, she became too worn out by the abuse on many levels and died by her own hand.
Of course, it's very tragic. But I think what's also tragic is the children: they knew what they were doing, but they didn't understand the consequences.

[Anthony Dowd]

Your English is clear and has a measure of flamboyance. It exceeds the English language skills of many who call it their first language.

As for your story it is in equal parts dark and light hearted, it skirts a central topic elegantly and holds till the end it's conclusions as it should.

Good job!

[Conjurer]

Hi Anthony! Thanks a lot for the review.
About my English, I'm very happy to hear this. Let's hope it isn't just a fluke ;)
And I'm glad the course of the story made sense to you.
Your feedback and kind words are much appreciated.