The Most Romantic Valentines Day Ever

Inspired by the characters Isaac and Miria from the anime �Baccano.�

 

 

Dear Muffinface,

Now I know you would rather spend the entire day locked in a hotel room with me, but that hardly differs from the norm.  This year we should do something really romantic:  Let’s start with a quick breakfast in bed… then we’ll go get something to eat.  Following that, we could head out to the lake, maybe rent one of those two-person paddling boats, head out across the lake and find a quiet cove under a willow tree.  Of course, then the midgets in cupid outfits that I secretly hired will come out and serenade us from their overhanging perch in the tree.  I’ll bring a cap gun and we can take pot shots at them when they aren’t looking.  Once we’ve indulged ourselves in front of ducks, we should head to a costume shop and find some kinky outfits… then use them to hold up a gas station and steal all the chocolate.  We’ll hide out under a bridge until the coast is clear, the whole time gorging ourselves, and we could eat the chocolate too.

After we’ve be sated and you’ve been sedated, I’ll drive us to the park and hire a horse in buggy.  You’ll reawaken to the quickening trot of the horse’s hooves and the screams of the driver whom I dishonorably discharged; I want us to be alone for this part.  I can only hope you know how to drive horses, for I will be too busy covering you in rose petals to pay attention to the road.  When the police finally catch the horse, all they will find is our tattered, chocolate and rose-covered garments.  We are too busy re-enacting Adam and Eve to be bothered by their silly laws.  Unfortunately, while the police have lost our scent, the cupid-midgets haven’t.  We will grab our tactfully-placed leaves and escape, running through the gardens with a hooting pack of arrow-toting little-people in pursuit.  Luckily I know the weakness of midgets: balloons.  So we’ll change course and streak through the nearby hospital and grab all the “Get Well Soon” and “Congratulations, It’s A Boy” balloons and quickly tie them to the now distracted and dancing cupids. 

However, by this time it will be getting close to the scheduled dinner reservations I made at Chuck E. Cheese’s, so we’ll have to hurry and make good use of the electric wheelchairs that we borrowed from the hospital.  After dinner and a few arcade games, it will be time to head to the romantic seduction scene I have been planning since last Tuesday, I just hope the picnic food I left there is still good.  We will adjourn our pizza-laden haven and head to the highest hill in the park, where I will uncork the bottle of wine stolen from a passed-out bum nearby.  And there we will lay, making sweet love through the last gleams of daylight, distracted only by the hovering mass of midgets floating slowly into the sunset….

Love,

            Snoogy Woogy Snickerdoodlebuns

Reviews

[Esteban Morfín]

I wasn't expecting any of this. It was so much fun. I would definitely sign up for that Valentine's Day. Never in my life have I heard of a more romantic and wonderful idea for a couple's perfect day.

[Persnickety]

so this is where my boyfriend got the idea :|

and i thought he was being original. b*****d.

haha. this is great!!! The stalker midget cupids are my favorite. :D

[Carla (trying to make e..]

very funny and entertaining.
thanks for entering my contest.
Carla

[Nely Amorim]

I am laughing my way thru this poem... I can honestly tell you this would be a wonderful Valentine for any woman...lol thanks for sharing it with me !!!

[A Shell]

OMC (conrad is my god XD)!! I LAUGHED SO HARD IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES; IT'S JUST THAT PERFECT!! XD ... I LOVE IT! THAT WOULD TRULY BE THE MOST ROMANTIC ADVENTURESOME VALENTINES DAY EVER! (i can picture it so clearly, AAWWWWW *GLOMP*) perhaps not Chuck E Cheese's though, that mouse scares me as bad as clowns do ^^. AARRG I love you snoogums XD! XOXOXOX

- Muffinface ^^