Feelings are a Hell of a Drug

A Story by Casner P

Pretty self explanatory

You know what sucks more than having feelings for someone? The stage right before it, when you constantly tell yourself that you don't really have feelings for this particular person but you know damn well something is there. Because you see, the topic of feelings is a sensitive subject man. Having feelings for someone can be a great thing, even better when those feelings are mutual. But what happens when you've been through the ringer a couple of times? You're a cagey veteran in the realm of "feelings"; had your heart stepped on a couple of times and had a couple of mental breakdowns for good measure. So when you think of that person, and your heart beats just a little quicker and you try to contain that smirk, your mind quickly reminds you of what it truly means to have "feelings" for someone. It's taking a leap of faith and hoping someone's vibes intertwines with yours, chances are they won't but there's always that slim chance you've caught lightening in a bottle. You try to talk yourself out of it, you play it cool as hell around your friends or family when they ask "hey, what's up with you and so-so?" Because your mind is reminding you of every reason of why you shouldn't have feelings again. Why you shouldn't pursue someone again, because disappointment tends to sting more than the chase. Your mind tells you to run, and don't be stupid. You get angry, because d****t I should be allowed to pursue who I want! It's a battle between the mind and your heart, and it's not even a fair fight. Your mind reminds you of what happens next, and it's nothing good. Your mind tells you to keep those feelings at bay, they'll pass over soon. No matter how hard you try, you can't do it because that slim chance of catching lightening in a bottle is too great, and your heart needs it, yearns for it. We all need it. So we accept our fate, and put on our imaginary helmet and buckle our chin strap. We accept our feelings, and the pursuit is on. Things probably won't end up how we want them, but one of these days we're going to get it right.