Freed

A Poem by Pyrrha Rayn

I really like this one...

People say we never truly know when someone leaves this world...

Not when they die..

But when their soul actually departs

Maybe it's just a whisper of the wind

Or a small flutter we miss

Maybe it's the final sigh from within...

I think I knew when her soul departed

It was horrible watching her battle

To try and keep the life she had once fought so hard

Watching it slowly tear itself just from her reach

Yet through all this she lay motionless..

But I could at the same time say I bore witness to this

Is it sad to say I knew the end was near?
I wish it was not...

I figured there was so much more for her

For both of us to to live for.

Together.

But I saw the sigh her heart made

As her soul prepared for departure

I couldn't see her part alone..

So I turned on the music

Her favorite song through the years

Had always been “Requiem for a Dream”

I remember touching her hand

And whispering to her...

“That's right love

Let the music set you free from this place”

I swore her eyes fluttered

But then it happened I swear by my own eyes

The light fell away and I promise you this

I saw her soul break free of this worn down husk

And look at me.

Though, I saw no visible expression I could she was smiling

And slowly she turned and two beautiful wings became exposed

As she took flight into a world I could not see

I felt my heart sqeeze with a beautiful sadness

I wish it would not have come to pass as this..

But, she hadn't died alone

And, I myself was there to witness what could truly be described

As a miracle..

Watching the one you love...

Be released from the husk of a worn out body..

And be given true untamable freedom.

© 2013 Pyrrha Rayn

Author's Note

Made some changes....tell me if this is better...
I really wanted the end to have the trailing off effect. Hope this is a better read ^^

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Featured Review

Trigorin

This is fairly nice, but I do think you might have used just a tad too many ellipses. It's all right to sprinkle them sparingly about the piece, but the way you've used them gives the piece a sort of nebulous, trailing-off sort of quality, which is really not exactly the kind of thing you want to go for, I think. I'd also recommend breaking this up into stanzas, just to make it easier to read. You have a nice topic and your writing is concise and clean, I just feel like you could fix a few things here.