Understand

I think people want to understand

Depression.

Anxiety.

Cutting.

I think they want to be compassionate and understanding when you try and explain why;

Your brain works the way it does.

Why sometimes you are 

Excited.

Why sometimes you feel charming and sexy.

And like everyone should be dying to become your friend.

That is when they can accept your diagnoses. 

They can push the fact that your brain is wired differently from theirs.

In ways not even doctors fully understand

or can explain.

But when you

Crash.

Unexpectedly. 

Become low and moody.

Migraines, mood swings, mania. 

And all you feel is blue,

nobody really wants to deal with you. 

But they don't understand.

It's not your fault.

You've lost your tether to humanity 

lost inside your own head. 

And when your meds make you

Sleepy.

And sort of out of touch 

they'll be offended that you can't focus on the constant chatter of their mouths. 

So it's easier,

just to push people

a w a y. 

So you don't have to explain, 

just why you feel this way. 

You think I am unaware of how bad of a friend I am. 

How incapable I am

of simply

being there

for another

person.

I can't even be there for me.

I am aware of e v e r y 

s i n g l e 

f l a w

I wear them as scars on my skin.

Physical reminders of all the ways I'll never measure up. 

So when you try and understand what's going on in my mind remember;

It doesn't quite work like yours. 

The rules don't apply. 

And if you think it's frustrating for you,

just imagine,

how frustrating it is

for me.

Reviews

[paddy d daly]

I have always tried to understand how it might feel to be in that different mode, I dont like to put a label on it, I guess people, all people live in different mind sets, your writing has explained to me more than I ever understood before about your mins set, I think we all need to understand how we feel or at least learn to live with how we feel, if only the world today, people today could make an effort to try to understand that people feel in different ways and try to incorperate that the world would be a better place

[CristinaHeather]

Thank you for taking the time to read! I'm glad I could shed some light and give you a little glimpse into another facet of human life. As a writer that's the best compliment I could receive, especially with the topic of this piece.