"I'm lost"

"I'm lost"

A Poem by Brooklyn
"

This is experimental, the goal: eloquence in its brevity.

"
Child: "I'm lost mom" 
Mom: "......"

© 2015 Brooklyn


Author's Note

Brooklyn
I need reviewers to answer the question and maybe help me with character development. Answer as if you were the mother of this child, who you knew was about to die.

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Child: "I'm lost mom" [capital letter for a name Mam is used as a name here, the child is crying to Mam, who also is her mother.

Mom: "......"

This isn't a poem, it may be a line or two, possibly an epigram.

Suggest:
'I can see you darling, don't worry. I can see you in the mirror.'


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"Who am I? I am am Mom. Mom makes your meals, washes your clothes, brushes your hair, nurses you when you're sick, takes you to the park and plays games with you. We've lived in many different places, but who is always with you when we go somewhere new? Mom. No matter where you go, Mom makes your meals, washes you clothes, brushes your hair...Mom is your home. With Mom is all you ever need to be. Since I am always by your side, you are always where you need to be. So darling, you can never be lost when there is nowhere else you need to go."

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Brooklyn

9 Years Ago

Thats endearing :)
Cruz Niq

9 Years Ago

Its one of life's small realities
To fill in the blank..."we are all lost, that's the reality. No matter how old a person is they are always lost somehow. The point is always the journey. Most of us will never truly find what we seek here and that's okay. It was never the point. If you don't get the time to live your own journey here that's okay too...Some people's journey takes them to a place much more beautiful than here." I hope that makes sense :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Brooklyn

9 Years Ago

I appreciate your perspective, you should read "The Alchemist" its all about staying the course of t.. read more

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660 Views
12 Reviews
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Added on January 19, 2015
Last Updated on January 19, 2015
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Author

Brooklyn
Brooklyn

Albuquerque, NM



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