Lost Without You

Verse: I keep trying to come up with words to describe

Why there are so many tears falling from these eyes

I looked in the mirror on the floor outside

And wondered how I got to the point of feeling so empty inside...

Hook: Everything I thought was lost in transition

It’s coming back to me all at once

And I can feel the bones in my body cracking

At the possibility that I will forever be what I’ve become

Chorus: A broken wasted being

Crawling on my hands and knees

There’s nothing worth seeing

Stay close to floor, try not to breathe

‘Cause I am lost without love!

I don’t know who I am anymore...

Verse: I looked back on the songs that I wrote

About you, all the worthless crap I choked

Out of my stinging, burning throat

And I gawked at the emotion I was feeling the most

Hook: Before I thought that it was okay

To fall for someone and try to be happy

But now I know that leads to getting thrown away

Why fall down if I know nobody’s gonna come get me?

Chorus: I am a broken wasted being

Crawling on my hands and knees

There’s nothing worth seeing

Stay close to floor, try not to breathe

‘Cause I am lost without love!

I don’t know who I am anymore...

Bridge: You took me out to your favorite place

I tried not to stare at that angelic face

‘Cause I had always thought it was too good to be true

And you said to me, “How could I not love you?”

Now all those words have been thrown away

Abandoned for bluer skies and sweet escapes

All those sweet, whispered nothings have become what I knew

And it’s all because of you....and it’s all because of you

Chorus: Now I am broken wasted being

Crawling on my hands and knees

Because there’s nothing worth seeing

Stay close to floor, try not to breathe

‘Cause I am lost without love!

I don’t know who I am anymore

I guess I finally ran out of luck

Or maybe it just ran out the door...

It just ran out the door...

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think so that i can improve myself.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I dont think that lyrical structure can be critiqued so much...because with the right score..and combination of delivery..you never know how they fit.....but

So far, I have noticed that you have a very nice teknik of sticking with themes, but doing so in a way that it doesn't feel as if it comes from a template. It's a subtle thing. For example: Tears from the eyes---> to looking in mirror----> to wondering how you got to the point. I like the cohesion around the concept of vision. It's easy to see in many other places as well. You have very smooth transitions from one image to the other. That is an important teknik for a lyricist to have.

I must see more of your work...but for now...IMO the way you transition from one image to another....is something that is unique to yourself.

[misha]

great job!