Cleansing

A poem that I wrote for my cousin by request on May 12 of 2008. where it says "The lightning flashes/and the thunder clashes" clashes is a change from the original text. The friend who pointed this out said it sounded better than the original "cracks".

I see a flicker of light

at first it gave me quite a fright

I hear the rain on the roof

so I decide to close the book.

 

I open the door

that faces the shore

to see that it's merely, just a storm.

 

I step outside to sit in the rain

in a swing, hung by a chain.

 

The lightning flashes

and the thunder clashes

as the rain pours down on me

I feel as my sins are gone; I'm free.

Reviews

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

i guess cleansing can come from anywhere! :) well, i thought this was beautiful cause it's almost as if you were a new person, and i too love going outside in a storm!

~may

[Wildecat]

I love sitting in the rain, loved the imagrey in thiis poem. Excellent write. I too say the typo's that Arron mentioned. Still a good write.

[Wolfwind Words]

I like images and feelings behind this peice.

A couple ofthings I saw while reading this...
Line 2 "Quite"
Line 7 to see that it's merely a storm.
Line 8 "Sit"

Other then those little typos, I felt this was a realy nice piece of writing.

Keep up the good work!
Aaron Maycroft