American Dream

I don't even look forward to the weekends anymore.

Work, eat, sleep.

Repeat.

Except that I don't sleep.

Not anymore.

I don't dream.

Not anymore.

I was told the other day, 

I need to start saving for retirement.

Christ, I am nineteen.

I don't even make living wages yet.

Let alone have a degree.

Work, eat, sleep.

Repeat.

I don't have time for anything else.

I don't have time to be happy.

Knowledge is shoved down my throat

So that I can perfectly regurgitate it

It is all fine for now, 

Until every ounce of motivation

is drained from my weakening bones.

Work, eat, sleep.

Repeat.

They ask me why my grades are slipping.

Is being unhappy a valid excuse.

I put myself through excursion after excursion

to be a part of a successful youth.

That is what they want for us right?
This is what were supposed to be.
The formula for life.

Work, eat, sleep.

Repeat.

They say that I do this for myself.

But I do this for them.

I just don't want to be a disappointment.

Even if I am disappointed with life.
And I am.
Work, sleep, repeat.

Eat.

Christ, I am losing it.

Sleep, repeat, eat.

Work.

Does it really matter...

Repeat.

Sleep.

Work.

Eat.

It's just the same everyday.

I'm trying my best for you.

I am not happy.

I'm only here because of you.

I am miserable.

Without you, I'd have ended this years ago.

I am aching.

I do this for you.

I am lost.
I want more...
Than work, eat, sleep.

repeat.

Work.

Eat.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep...

Sleep.....

Sle- 

Author's Note

I know it doesn't sound very poetic. I'm sorry, I was just unburdening my mind.
I have a history of severe depression but I have some wonderful people in my life and that's why I am here. Love is powerful but sometimes you need to release.

Reviews

[Twizzler]

You really paint the perfect picture of how exhausting life has come to be for most people. Your description of the struggle is on point. You aren't alone though. Great job and thanks for posting.