A Field

Walking upon an open field in the daylight.

The wind gently swept the tops of the flaxen wheat, stretching upon the rolling hills seeming to expand into infinity and heaven as it swayed back in forth as the wind calmed then regained its strength. It pushed everything in its path, creating a ripple along the landscape as it moved from west to east across the land.

The green grass below that rested and called its home the top of the earth shone through the wheat offering not only a soft blanket to the thin and coarse wheat stalks, but contrasting their own natural colors against the other for the pleasure of any one lucky to be a witness. The blades of grass moved quickly in the wind with only the stalks of wheat protecting them as they absorbed the brunt of the swift push of air.

The noon-day sun illuminated every speck of earth that could be seen, with few trees along the hills offering any shade or relief from the sun when it became unrelenting. They, too lay their black limbs across the sky to receive the breath of the wind as it passed through their leaves and branches, gently stirring and rustling them, creating a sound that echoed through the otherwise empty landscape.

Green leaves, flaxen wheat, the black limbs of the trees, were all set themselves

upon a cerulean background, purely the deepest blue imaginable, tainted only by small white globs of clouds that passed along as a reminder that the wind was moving. The blue backdrop absorbed them all as it claimed itself the master of all, dwarfing any piece of earth with its boundless reaches that confined it all from the expanse of space.

The wind continued to move them all. The blades of grass quivered violently, the wheat swayed, itself rustling and singing a song with the leaves on the trees and together creating a harmony of nature that played each time the wind came to move them. The song was different each day but each knew their part with precision, creating the most calming and deafening beauty known.

Reviews

[JGIII]

Favorite line: The wind gently swept the tops of the flaxen wheat, stretching upon the rolling hills seeming to expand into infinity and heaven as it swayed back in forth as the wind calmed then regained its strength. Reminds me of the death scene from Gladiator. Nice image.
This is a poem that seems slow and reflective. Longer sentences help with that but some are so long that my eye was tempted to skip to the bottom. I think they would work okay in print but on an e reader you’re going to lose people because the screen gets filled up and I personally don’t like having to scroll down to get a complete thought.
I suggest breaking up the long sentences with short ones so the poem ebbs and flows like ocean waves taking the reader along for the ride rather than drowning him in a flood of ideas. Also some words seem redundant. I have some editing suggestions that I’ll PM you rather than put here. Thanks for your input on Pit Stop. I submitted it to Glimmer Train, now I’m just waiting for a response. Later.