Rider's Song

This is a translation of a poem by Federico García Lorca called "Canción de jinete" - so the poem isn't mine, but the English is. (translated from Spanish)

Córdoba.

Far off and lonesome.

 

Black pony, red moon,

and olives in my saddlebag.

I will never get to Córdoba

Although I know the path.

 

Over the plain, through the wind,

black pony, red moon.

The eyes of Death are watching me

Watching me from the towers of Córdoba.

 

Oh, how long is the way!

Oh, how brave my mare!

Oh, and death is waiting for me

before I ever reach Córdoba!

 

Córdoba.

Far off and lonesome.

Author's Note

I'd appreciate any comments specifically related to how natural the language seems, whether you would have guessed that this poem was translated, how well you think it holds up to the original in tone and content (if you know the original poem,) things like that. thanks for reading!

Reviews

[J]

You know, I knew this was Lorca even before I read your description. I don't think I've read this poem of his but his essence is there, and so too is the Spanish landscape mixed in with that gypsy soul of his. As you can probably tell, he's one of my favourite writers.

To answer your question: yes, the language seems natural, but yes, I could guess this poem was translated too. Inflections get lost through translations, however minute...
J

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

I love this kind of fantastic piece. Natural? It's perfect the way it is.
Beautiful!
GA