The Storm inside of me

Dark Clouds

  Layer

    after

       Layer

Surround the sun

and make the light

go dark.

Everything suddenly seems

LOUDER!!!!

as thunder crackles

and rumbles and remains

for many seconds

causing my heart pain.

A fearful storm brewing

causing destruction inside of me.

The wind blows harder out

than it does in.

Branches fall off trees.

A bolt of lightening.

Then...

 

 

the rain.

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

That was an awesome write! The imagery that you created was so detailed, and so descriptive, and I thought that the whole concept of thunder and weather in general made for an incredibly effective metaphor. I liked how at the start of the piece you changed some of the formatting, and I kind of wanted to see more of that! Maybe experimenting with the font, or the size of particular words, could result in a really visually effective poem. The content though, was perfect. I really enjoyed reading this. :)
~PaperHearts

[Randy`s Princess]

As always your poetry is breathtaking really nice use of words and ryme well done Sam Lou I love your writing :)

[Mithridate]

very awesome! i could picture everything

[?]

I really like this Sam, we all experience those internal storms, and the rain, sybolizing the tears bring the release or relief.
Great poem

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Sam,

"A bolt of lightening.
Then...

the rain"

I really enjoyed the ending of this poem because rain has a calming effect just as tears can be the release of building tension and lead to one regarding composure after the building stress of dark clouds. Rain and tears are healing in many ways.

Best regards,

Rick

[LSS]

Sam,
This was a wonderful poem full of emotion, symbolism, femininity, passion, exposure, and pain. Not that we readers revel in your pain, nor your poorer moments. But you've nailed, what to me from a man's perspective, a woman's turmoil that rages before it boils over. Maybe I'm not reading you right, nor your symbolism, but just the expressed emotion revealed, brought rain from me too. For years, I've watched my wife and daughters, not able to share their emotional upheavals, but sympathetic to their pain and not able to do much to salve away some of the pain and turmoil. Its good to let others be empathetic to what comes passionately to you.
Lar

[Laura]

I like that the font changed and the descriptions you have are great. The imagery you created flows really well and I enjoyed the end. Really great job.

[P.S I Love You]

Great Write ! ! ! ! ! I love how when you said louder you put it in capitals, Really shows the emotion. :D

[Kandy]

Very nice poem. You did a great job with imagery. It has a rhythmic sound to it, as if you can hear the thunder. Nice Job.

[Sara]

cool poem, and a fun read visually because of your expressive formatting (i love the 'LOUDER!!!!' bit :D)... you know, i think this would be a good piece of performance art -- you could probably have a great time reciting this aloud at a poetry jam or something, translating that written build-up and hyperbole into some dramatic theatre. ;) i think that last bit is especially effective (the 'then... the rain.') -- that huge break and then that final line gives the poem such a sense of relief and closure... good job, dearie!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Really metaphoric. The rain builds and tears fall.. this is a wonderful write, Sam..
I am just now finding where the read requests are! Do'h
I am sorry for being late ... back to your poem...
I love that you used all the aspects of actual storms to get the feelings out .. a wonderful poem.

Chloe