Complaints: Shopping

Random sharing of experiences like shopping that I choose to rant or a rave about.

When you’re shopping with your wife and she’s pushing the cart behind you and doesn’t see you stop so she pushes it up onto your heel,
and you squeal like someone stepped on a blow up doll,
and before you can stop yourself you swing a back hand round house and hit her in the face,
only before she’s even recovered you realize she isn’t your wife �" and you aren’t married and you’re in Nam and every Vietcong and his mothers is gunning for you and all you can smell is the sour napalm urine soaking through the cargo pants your mother just asked you to try on when you over in the little girls department and you open your eyes and see Elmo. That’s why I believe in Elmo. There are no Elmoists in Fox holes you mamby pamby.