WAKE TO NOTHIN

A Story by Danny Zil

Life can get dark and stay that way.

WAKE TO NOTHIN

Just driftin thru dog days in that trailer park. Don’t seem to come awake for long. When I do it’s tv an movies. Read some. Stare out at the hills. Used to lie there sometimes, just smokin an starin out the window, breeze ripplin the curtains. Darkness in my head. Finished.

Got a Vet’s pension from Nam an my Marine’s pension. Scrapes me by. Don’t need big supplies. Smokes an beer an park rent. Own the trailer.

Don’t mix all that often. Family long since gone or buried. Meant to be gettin married a while back but she left me half way thru my tour.

Only real friends I ever had were left in Nam. In bits. Think I left the best part of me out there as well cos nothin much came back.

An there wasn’t much to come back to. Hardly any work round here an I ain’t got no trade ‘cept killin. An I’m done with that.

Do some work now an again for the guy that owns the park on his Harley. Take it for a spin sometimes up into the hills. Like it when it rains. Pull up under a tree. Sit an have a smoke. Look out at the rain. Can still see Charlie flittin thru the trees. They were never endin. Like ants. Didn’t matter how many you killed, was always hundreds more. All that death. For what? All seems kinda pointless now.

Sometimes head down to Sam’s Waterin Hole on friday nites. Just to break up time. Sit at the same spot. Have a few beers an watch the action. Pool games. Slots. Dancin. The odd brawl. Some folks would say ‘Hi’ an I’d nod back.

She walked over one nite. Kinda pretty. Carryin two beers. Sat down next to me.

“These are mine,” she said, layin the beers on the table.

I shrugged.

She laughed an slid one over. “Seen you here a few times,” she said.

“Most friday nites,” I told her.

“You’re always sittin on your own.”

“Don’t bother me none.”

“Wanna come over an join us?”

“Maybe next time.”

We chatted some more then she went back to her friends. Kept glancin over. Knew it would happen. She tagged after me when I was leavin.

Outside we stopped an lit smokes.

“Where you headed?” she asked.