Repeated Inquiries

The final vestiges of sunset linger,

a rough smear of rouge

across the horizon,

a bloody mist

soaking slowly into the skyline.

One can be distanced

without feeling distant,

but as the fading crimson

frames your far-off silhouette,

I feel desperately lonely. 

You are barely back-lit

by burnt-out brilliance,

a smeared smudge

on the edge of the world.

Your expression is impossible

to discern in such slight light,

but the slump in your shoulders

and the shuffle in your step

say enough. 

I start to walk towards you,

but you slip over the lip of the earth

into deep dusk. 

Shadows puddle around my ankles

as I start again in your direction,

hoping I can still find you

to make sure you are alright. 

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This one reads almost like the description of a dream. The imagery is very rich, painting a veritable word picture of a sunset. There is the sense of a deep desire to reach the other, countered by a sense of frustration as the object of desire steadily moves into the dusk. There is no resolution in the end, but dreams can be like that. The best we can do is to try to understand what they mean.

[barleygirl]

This is so vivid & palpable, I was sucked into the fleeting scramble of futility. I love how your imagery teeters on the edge, as if this could be the narrator actually SEEING the other person & having her disappear over the horizon . . . but then again, also sounding like he was only imagining her there & this aspect carries a hint of the narrator feeling a little crazed & hungering for another glimpse. Excellent use of the way words SOUND, as well as painting fresh intense imagery (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie