A Parent Trap

When you want to influence them, but only see them on weekends

Completely trapped inside my head, 

Second guess parenting is sheer dread. 

Drop my pride, and start to play,  

unreal expectations to have a perfect day. 

Laughs and fears, hateful screams, and 

joyous tears. "She's got your wrapped." 

"You parent her."  

Helpful sound-bytes 

become a blur. 

"You want them to 'like you'?"  

"You care that she would die?" 

You try ultimatums; and reasoning why. 

They are past lullabies, or 

cartoon lessons - they slip away. 

Parenting is depressing. 

So, what do I want?  Hard to specify.... 

I want them to know I care if they die. 

If they would see me as strong, not a sap; 

compassion's not weakness -  

When you serve, you’re not wrapped. 

I want them to see beauty, and know  

to be connected is to be free. 

To move out of their darkness  

bringing luminosity. 

To want me with them, not needing 

me there. Shining a light with them everywhere.