Vincent Vidalia

Vincent Vidalia

 

 

Life for an onion is not very exciting, you say? Not quite...Vincent Vidalia Onion has something to say about that.

Setting: Harveys Grocery of Vidalia, Georgia. Produce section, far corner, where Vidalia onions are almost in season, but not quite...thus they are not being sold quite so much yet. Vincent Vidalia currently lives in this produce section with his 'on and off again' girlfriend Olivia Orange. An orange and onion, you say? There's been odder couples out there, I can assure you.

Luckily, or as Vincent would say unfortunately for them today was a day for doom! A single mother walked into the grocery store with her toddler son, an orange lover-no doubt.  He had been crying for several days for an orange and his mother just recently received her food stamps so she was here to end the crisis and the screams.  Olivia was doomed from the moment they stepped into the store.  Lucky for her, she wouldn't go alone as the mother was a vegan and was in search for vegetables for her vegan spaghetti. 

As the mother and her screaming son drew near, Vincent's heart (does an onion even have one?) skipped a beat as he heard the mother tell her son, "Now James, calm down...we are gonna get you a nice, juicy naval orange, I promise." Olivia squealed and hid behind Vincent, who was quite bigger than her, and thus able to shield her from the oppressing eyes of the oogly mother and her son.

Then why did she feel a cold, wrinkly pair of fingers close around her? Oh, no...this is it. Goodbye cruel grocery store! Oh wait, Vincent plopped into the cart beside her. Phew...that wasn't so bad. But...what on earth was beyond the big sliding, automatic doors? They were about to find out.

Olivia began to panic as Vincent did his best to calm her as the buggy began to fill with other fruits and vegetables: Billy Potato, Sammy Squash, Kathi Carrot, Bob Bellpepper, and so on and so forth until the buggy was full enough to please the mother and the pestering child.  Luckily for Olivia, she was hidden under the many other friends and the young, no longer screaming boy was engulfing the small bright green grapes that were far more ripe than she or the love of her life was.  She felt her doom was near as this strange toddler was the size of an infant elephant and knew he would not become full after completing the bag of grapes.

They were quickly bagged and purchased and the mother carted them right out the door, the sun beat down upon them and made them feel as if they would soon begin to bruise or soften but as soon as the sun hit, it disappeared and they were put into a large contraption they had never seen before. 

Inside said contraption, Olivia started to panic. "What are we going to do?" She squeaked pitifully, fear taking over her. All of Vincent's attempts to calm her failed miserably. All of a sudden they felt the large 'machine' they were inside of begin to shake and vibrate, and then some strange music began to play. "What the hell kinda song is this?" Yelled Bob Bellpepper as the lyrics "Red solo cup...I fill you up, lets start a parteh!" echoed throughout the vehicle.

"Eff all this, I'm gettin' outta here!" Yelled Bob as he rolled towards the bag as hard as he could, trying to topple it over. Again and again he attempted it, unsuccessful. All the other veggies and fruit were staring at him as if he were crazy. "What is your dang problem, you fools? If you don't help me, we are gonna end up in someone's belly and forever lost...is that what you want?" All the others seemed to have accepted their fate...there was no way out of this hell.

A teardrop trickled down Olivia's cheek as she heard the boy say, "Mommy...orange, me want orange, NOW!" She looked over at Vincent...one last time, as the boy's small, sticky hand reached into the backseat to grab her...Vincent felt his very soul shatter in realization that he would have to see his beloved eaten alive before his very eyes. 

...to be continued.