Your Smile

For everyone that give us a wonderful smile that give a joy to any person's heart

Your smile incites all our
Thoughts to be relaxed within your sight
Troubles to be melted in your path,
Senses to be mesmerized in your eyes
Issues to be solved upon your ways,
Feelings to be excited by your voice
Worries to be dissolved into your waves.

Your smile helps us to
Follow our passion of discovery
Seek our desire in priceless treasury,
Read our books in the library
Improve our skills in major literary
Expand our essay to a well-read story
Find our love poetry.

Your smile changes our
Loneliness to togetherness
Darkness to lightness,
Ruthlessness to forgiveness
Sadness to happiness,
Weaknesses to strengths
Illness to healthiness,
Weariness to willingness
Awkwardness to smoothness,

Selfishness to selflessness.

Your smile allows us to
Immediately take a while to rest
Efficiently do our very best,
Confidently stand on our two feet
Brightly achieve any tough feat
Bravely face our given fate,
Spontaneously increase our personal faith
Repeatedly seeing you with bated breath,
Patiently learn the longing of wait
Modestly have will power extremely great,

Definitely forget our last defeat
Truly have sensation we never felt
Completely succeed all our tests
Absolutely deserve all our gifts.

Abderrahmane Dakir

Reviews

[alf]

hi Abderrahmane Dakir. What I liked most about this poem, is that it came from your heart!!! You have put your feelings on paper with all the enthusiasm and emotion which pour from the lines!! Whata I would like to see ( a personal opinion!!!) is a little more imagery as in;
my sense mesmerized . . . by whatever you feel. Not to all lines, but qualify about a third to half, giving the reader time to reflect before taking in a new statement. I hope you get my drift here and are not offended by the feedback, alf

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.I try to improve it. Could take a look.

[alf]

Change to . . . improve my skill exploratory . . . take away 'IN' and you will have it!!!

[Jamestown]

Well written and delivered!
This poem says a ton that one does for another, great job!
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.

[Michael G. Smith]

You have articulated many positive attributes to the smile, more than i could've thought of. Spell check on loneliness. In my opinion I think it would become more powerful with out the repetitions of "my and to", using some other transitioning words as "and and as".

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.

[Kathryn Smith]

This is an absolutely beautiful poem!

Well done!! :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.

[Eddie Davis]

Nicely done, I like the structure of this poem, it is almost a point by point presentation of the power of a loved one's smile. Cleverly done, uplifting and joyful, it is quite lovely.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.I try to improve it. Could take a look.

[blue cave]

amazing how powerful a smile can be...
has great rhythm and build up
my suggestion:
perhaps a beginning line with more punch and an ending line that reveals the climax...
really beautiful thoughts...they deserve a good frame

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.I try to improve it. Could take a look.

[Marie]

I'd suggest you get rid of everything except the second verse. It isn't terrible.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.

[Lord_Shade]

I like the fluency of this poem and I loved the way it made me smile. This was wonderful. Thank you for sharing this poem and please keep up the good work :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.

[Colton Warr]

Abderrahmane,
This poem is a beautiful sculpture, created as a dedication to a muse. I could feel the change, the need and even the want to change and surrender all of yourself to this muse. A spectacular tribute. I like the wordplay and emotion. I like poems that make me feel something or move me, and this one did. Thank you for sharing!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.

[Terry Collett]

We all need a muse to aid in our development as writers and artists. I like the poem

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much.