Love & Loss

Love. It’s an incredible thing. It manifests itself in so many different ways it’s not quite possible to see it all at once. When we live in a world where everyone is in a rush and nobody cares to hold even the door how is it that we could even possibly fit in the time to see all the love. In a world where this life matters and this life doesn’t how is it fair that we all can pick which one means more. When in all reality we should be fighting alongside each other about how we can bring more love into the world. As I sit back and watch it amazes me sometimes how little we can care about even the most purest thing on the planet, love. Love is a feeling that you never want to let go. A feeling that envelops you and brings you into its arms just to hold you that much tighter. It is one of the most powerful yet most devastating emotions. Love does not pick a person by color, gender, status or traits. Love just loves, but it can also cause immense pain. What other emotion can give you both the best and the worst days of your life. How can we cope with something that only some can see? Why can this feeling be shoved so far down that we forget what is really the most important things? 

Love has taught me many things. It has taught me to love in myself even on my darkest days when I want nothing to do with being me. It has coached me through a life where some days I really didn't think it was there with me. It has shown me my greatest triumphs and my deepest losses. Yet at the end of it all what is its most important thing? Why does it choose the path it takes? What makes love possible for some but struggles to be in some others worlds? Love is a funny thing. I don't think any of us will ever fully grasp the amount this one small but enveloping emotion really means. It is not simple but complex. It is so kind yet can rip you to shreds. It is easy yet never smooth. It is just love. 

How is it that some of us can pick and choose the love we give or receive? How is it that certain ones can block it out and pretend it was never there? What makes love love? I struggle in the day to day life trying to figure out how one such amazing thing can also be one of the most evil. Love knows no bounds. Love doesn't pick it just is what is when its meant to be there. Sometimes love even hurts which is crazy when you really think about it. Have you ever loved so much it hurt? Have you ever hurt so much that you loved? Have you ever wondered if love is love then why is it making me endure this pain? I have, in many different ways. One of which will forever stay with me and haunt me forever in my dreams. Like I said love is so complex, and it shows us how to be strong even when we don't want to be. 

Love helped raise me and make me into the woman that I am today. The woman that I know certain people are so proud to say they know. So proud to say they had a hand in raising me and continuing to guide me even to this day. Love gave me the strength to carry on when I had nothing else in my corner. Love is my worst enemy and my best friend. It is a cloak of mystery that I will never fully grasp, because how can we say that we know love in and out. There is no possible thing. It is ever changing and more challenging by the minute. Love is amazing but yet so scary. 

Love lead me to your side that day. Love gave me the strength to stand by your side even if you couldn't feel me there. It made it possible for me to not collapse under the pressure filling in my heart. It helped me give you one last kiss and to thank you for everything you gave me. Love filled your room and enveloped us all in its embrace. Love guided me to watch you take your very last breaths. Love left your body that day never to return to you but to live within us. Love guided your way......