Dont drown

Thoughts from an addiction provider

How many people have cried and begged me this week? How many people made mistakes and had to learn a real lesson, actions have consequences. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, that is the law of the universe. People hurt, cry, struggle. Every addict has a story and more times than not it is a sad one. A story so dark they feel consumed by it, as if they are truly alone in the void. Suffocating on the thick inky blackness. That darkness starts so easily, one fault, one mistake. Each action like a paint brush layering one black streak after another until one day there is nothing but that paint surrounding you. It is usually at that point, when you are staring up from your personal hell that people will scream for help. Yet, addicts, like the drowning victim struggling to breath will force their savior underwater for just a few more gulps of air. Lacking the foresight, not knowing they are drowning the very person who swam out to save them. They struggle and kick and fight all for a just a breath.

Imagine sitting at the bottom of a deep well and yelling for help and every time someone reaches you pull them to their death. Each brick surrounding you was a decision, a choice that built up over the years until you were buried so deep there was no more light. Some will continue to dig and never find their way out and a rare few will pause. They stop and assess where they are and realize each brick has been set through their own actions. From here at this hopeless point they start the climb. These walls and habits we build once felt protective and maybe they were. But no more, now they only serve as your prison, they trap you in the past forcing you to remain in that isolated spot. You can rise but it will take far more effort to tear those bricks out, one by one. It is more work, because this time your conscious of it, you will feel it and it will be painful. Each brick another memory, another defensive strategy, an offense, a trauma, your life literally being broken down. You will be left unsheltered which sounds so scary for someone who has been so deep. Imagine emerging from after years, how badly the sunlight would hurt your eyes and burn your skin. Then with enough time and exposure that warmth will feel safe and you are no longer trapped, and you can just breath. It is you facing the world, and the most terrifying thing is you can handle it. You are enough, you can grow and change it is all up to you. It always has been, so when will you start.