First Night

It's been a while since I wrote something, but I honestly enjoyed writing this a lot, so I thought I would rear back and write more here.

The sun crept back into hiding, and the moon was content to take its place. But it was not the moon that held my attention, for it was the stars. To my surprise, they did not have arms, legs, nor a head! And if I could count, I feel it would be tiresome to count stars, for there were ever so many. It was then that my ravenous hunger overtook me, and I felt the urge to cry in order to belay the message. But as I saw the size of the place, I realized how there was so much ahead of me. The crying was for later.

Author's Note

Please review harshly and constructively so that I may improve.

Reviews

[tworeeler]

I'd say give some more thought to your word-choices (maybe "the sun creeps back into hiding, the moon contented to take its place"; the inclusion of "rather impulsively" is a little confusing -- btw, "it's" is a contraction of "it is"; I think you mean "its"). I like the style, it's distinctive.

[ZackOfBridge]

The "for it was" and "for there" seem out of place and kind of clunky. I do like where you are going with this.

[Daniel Dougherty]

Edited based on criteria by tworeeler. Thank you.