Stressed Out

Found this on my phone from April. Oh if young me had known what lied ahead...

Stressed out, overthinking

My mind races as I try to fall asleep

I could blame it on the medicine

But that would be lying

I could say that it was because of my hyperactivity

But I'd be a fool

Stress pulls at me and makes me want to scream

Rip everything from the walls 

And stare at the mess I have made

Wishing my outcomes in life were different 

Sitting under that star speckled sky

Fields wide and open

Breathing in untouched air, free of the stench that the normal world carries

I realize this is what I want

I want freedom

I want to be able to be secure

I don't want to keep running in circles

I want stability

This stress isn't new

It's just done up in a more trendy way

Appearing as if it's never been seen before

Where will my path lead me?

What should I choose when both look equally undesirable?

What do I do when I'm backed into a corner?

I can't see the future but I wish I could

I wish I could just not care but that's just not me

I wish I could rid myself of this pain

I wish I could silence this overactive, stress-filled brain

I love life but sometimes I question its love for me.

Where do I go?

What shall I do?