Needy People Scare Me

It's an essay but one that has no meaning but to me and anyone else who happens to agree.

 

 

I maybe am coming out of left field with these suppositions I am about to impart.  What the hell?  They are just thoughts after all and not law written in stone.  So I’m going to throw these out on a page and see what sticks.

I’ve been thinking about needy people.  What makes a person needy?  What makes a needy person scary?  Why do I want to run for the hills the minute I realize someone is needy?  Am I needy?  Oh, s**t, am I?  I want to run from myself now!  Just joking. If you can’t laugh at yourself what can you laugh at?  Anyway, back to needy people and why I want to run for cover when I see one headed toward me.  

Needy people seem to come in two major categories (with many sub groups).  The first and most identifiable is what I call the Recognition Monger.  They need to make a name for themselves and most of their energy is toward that end.  They are usually personable upon first impact (they seek to make an impact, not an introduction) but after more exposure it may become clear to you that your sole purpose is to orbit them.   You really don’t want to get in this persons way because the patina of civilization quickly wears thin once you become an obstacle to their goal.  Oh, and their absolute favorite topic?  You guessed it, themselves.  

The Recognition Monger is pretty easy to deal with for the most part unless you are also one yourself.  You just listen to them talk about themselves and act as though you give a s**t and they think you’re on their team.  They really don’t know what you think because they would never ask but that is because they live in a world of assumptions that they are right and you are either with them or against them.

The second type is what I call the Neglected Child.  This is the person who is still carrying around the little rejected child in them that needs a constant infusion of attention and/or approval.  What makes them different from the Recognition Monger is that they are usually not as successful because the kind of recognition they want is more interpersonal.  They just want to be loved…ALL THE TIME.  They are addicted to attention and they will get it how ever they can (it is not that surprising that they always have some sort of ailment).  

The Neglected Children are emotional/ psychic vampires.  These are the kind of people that when you finally quit their company you just feel drained afterward without realizing why. They take a lot of attention all the time and if you don’t give it to them they will first have a hissy fit to get your attention, failing that, they will just turn to someone else who can fill that attention/approval need.  Don’t be surprised if there are many sources of attention besides you.  You see they’ve been cultivating other relationships so that when you fail to be a source of attention they’ve got somebody else to fill the void.  These are the kind of people who can never be alone in their own company.  They don’t really love themselves and so, they fear their own feelings and thoughts.  

Needy people at their core, no matter what group or sub group they belong to, have one thing in common and that is a gigantic void at the center of their personality.  They are not complete and do not know how to complete themselves and so they exploit others in order to fill the void.  

Oh, and as an afterthought, if someone thinks Tom Cruise's "you complete me" line is romantic...RUN! After experiencing both of these two major groups in their various sub categories I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be around anyone that needs me to “complete” them.